"Helluva Long Day". Television, Here I Come....Again! Week 13 and 14

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week...




Now on to the main attraction....


I've been feeling creatively blocked.  I don't feel inspired.  I don't feel inspiring.  I don't have the drive in me.  And the thought of, "What if it never comes back?" is scary.  Of course, it'll come back but, it feels permanent.  I'm going through my days like a shell of a human.  Even revealing this is embarrassing that I wanted to skip another week of posting.

So, I wrote a poem.  Doesn't necessarily rhyme but, it's a poem.  Not sure if it's cohesive, but it flowed out of me rather easily so, I guess this is what I'm offering this week.





Helluva Long Day


Feeling pretty shitty these days.

My insides are a mess.

I hate myself today.  

Actually, not yet.  I don't quite hate myself just yet.

I wonder what time I'll start today.

Most days, it doesn't kick in until about 5pm, but it's been happening earlier and earlier.

My body hurts.  My mind is alert.  Too alert.

It's war.  It's hell.

It's only 8 am.

Fuck.  

We just want to become one.  The body, the mind...we just want to become one.

(inhale)

That's better.

No wait.

(inhale)

That's better.

No wait.

(inhale)
(inhale)
(inhale)

I have nowhere to go now.  

The highs just take me lower.

I can't breathe.

I come up for air.

The air feels nice.  It feels clean.

I enjoy the air.  

And I think the air enjoys me.

Peace.

Grace.

It's only 8:01 am now.

This is going to be one helluva long day.








Anyways, wishing you all a THRIVING week, peeps.  Send some good creative jujus my way please.  :)



with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex