"How To Be A Force Of Nature." Television, Here I Come....Again! Week 3.

Bells is happy it's Friday.

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....

*  Signed up for two casting director workshops for this month.  Monday is with Michael McCaskey (associate with G. Charles Wright) and next week is with Allen Hooper.  Comedy!  Wish me luck!  I'm also looking into drama sides too now.  I'm gonna do some more drama casting director workshops too...I mean, I booked Criminal Minds.  I've got range, peeps.  :D

*  I'm starting a singer/songwriting class end of this month.  I've always wanted to write my own songs and perform them.  I don't have professional training but, I was always in chorus as a little girl in school.  I just like to sing, dance, and perform.  It's one of those things that scare me...singing in front of people...so, guess what, I'm gonna have to do it now.  

*  SAVE THE DATE!  FEB. 2nd, Sunday at 8pm at Bar Lubistch!  My next spoken word/storytelling show!  Come hear me talk about sex.  I've already started writing a new story.  I'm having fun with it which means, it's gonna be a good one.  Ladies only!  

Now on to the main attraction....

All the people I consider to be successful have something in common.

High energy.  They're a force of nature.

Almost to the point where they can be scattered.  But, they're not.  They channel that shit.  They use it. They're focused.  Watching them, you can feel their aliveness.  "I want to do this, and I want to do that, and I want to do this, and I want to do that."  They may not be able to sit still for long but, they get shit done.  

Suzanne, my writing coach is a Stage 4 breast cancer survivor.  And she's 50.  I'm always like, "Where the hell do you get all your energy?"  The amount of events she invites me to.  I try my best but, damn.  I don't know how she still has time and energy to support others AND take care of herself.  And do it all with a smile.   

Tony Robbins, wish I knew him personally.....but, I'm familiar with his work.  I love it.  When I first started seeing my kinesiologist, Dr. B, he told me he worked on Tony Robbins once.  It was after one of his workshops in LA.  According to Dr. B, Tony Robbins usually sees someone once he's done with his workshops because he puts so much energy into his work that his body gets all out of whack.  He has to see someone to recalibrate, re-adjust, re-align, recharge, and regain balance.    

Point is, they do what's necessary to keep themselves in top shape.  I remember when I first started coaching with Suzanne, she said that she didn't really take care of her self before she found out about her cancer.  She didn't meditate, didn't drink enough water, didn't eat well, and held on to things emotionally.  She said it's quite great that I'm starting all these things now.  

You know what pisses me off though?  I naturally have more energy than anyone but, I realize I do things to drain myself, rather than replenish myself.  It's a form of self-sabotage.  If I'm drained and tired, it's an excuse to not do my work.

For example, smoking cigarettes.  I know.  Usually after a couple drags, I feel it making the cells in my body tired and heavy but, I still smoke the rest of it.  I have over-commitment issues.  I committed to finishing the cigarette so I will follow through even though I don't like it.  It's my perfectionist way of punishing myself.  But, if I do put it out after the couple drags, and walk away....my energy gets replenished.  

Another example, Facebook stalking.  I was obsessed with this guy once and I literally checked his page and pictures a thousand times a day.  Bah hahaha...I mean, seriously.  Cuckoo cuckoo.  :D  Sometimes I'll just leave the tab open on my laptop, take care of others things, open up the tab again to see what he's been up to in the last 3 minutes, ok, go back to doing my thing.  Am I the only one?

Some other things that drain the shit out of me:

1.  Not meditating in the morning

2.  Procrastinating

3.  Being indecisive.  This is soooooo draining for me.  Whenever I'm in limbo.  In between things.  Torn.  Can't seem to make a decision.  Fearful of making the wrong choice.

4.  Road rage

5.  Getting in my head and beating myself up for something that didn't go the way I wanted

6.  Over-committing to things and people

7.  Not being able to keep a promise....especially to myself

8.  Not drinking enough water

9.  Not eating well, or enough, or too much

10.  Over-thinking something or about someone

The thing is, the minute I take my power back, my energy is replenished.  Naturally.  Automatically.  

I haven't worked a 9-5 in a while but, when I did, once I got into the rhythm of it with a day off here and there, I was good.  But, what I do now......putting my heart and soul into each word I write, every word I say in an audition room, being ok with uncertainties, being ok with being seen, or not.  I feel like I'm living my life on the edge.  I don't know about tomorrow....or about later today.  All I have is my truth in this moment.  

And it's draining to dig deep down inside of me....sometimes things I don't want to see come out, sometimes I pleasantly discover a new thing, but, it's constantly shaping me, knocking me down, then shaping me, then knocking me down again, and etc...  

I blog and keep all this documented because I know it's difficult to see the whole picture now but, in hindsight....all this, they're going to pieces of a puzzle that I've been putting together one at a time.  That's my hope.  

So until then, I have to nurture all the energy in me.  Make sure I get the job done, whatever that may be at the moment.  Just gotta do my best.

These are some things that replenishes my energy:

1.  Meditating in the mornings

2.  Making a To Do list

3.  Checking off my To Do list

4.  Getting in the zone when I'm writing

5.  Only using social media for genuine interactions....not one-way stalkings

6.  Taking Bells out

7.  Breathing

8.  Taking a 20 minute cat nap

9.  Going for a run

10.  Having great conversations with strangers

11.  Dancing to my favorite songs in front of the mirror

12.  Singing out loud while driving

13.  The Korea spa

14.  Drinking plenty of water

15.  Eating healthy small portions throughout the day

16.  Making a decision

17.  Finally doing that thing I have been putting off...calling/texting/emailing someone back, paying those parking tickets, writing that masterpiece, signing up for workshops, working out, going to see the doctor/dentist, etc.

I have to have high energy to do what I came here to do.  I take that back, actually, I want to see what I'm capable of, and access that.  My optimum potential is waiting.  Because the more I 'get involved' in my career and life, things happen...things start moving, and I want to be able to move with it, keep up with it.  

We all have an abundance of natural energy.  We all have the ability to be a force of nature.  We can actually draw energy from elsewhere too, if we wanted.  You just gotta know how energy works and listen to your body.  Start small.  And recognize the subtleties too.  Are you feeling drained or replenished?  In this moment, what small thing can you do to replenish yourself or stop draining yourself?  

I don't know how yet but, I plan on becoming a force of nature this year.  How about you?

Wishing you a THRIVING week, peeps.

with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex