This is my 'I Call Bullshit' look.
Got some new photos with Cammy Kinney Photography. More pics coming soon.
Dear Diary,
Here's my offering to you this week......
* One of my best friends, Cammy is moving back to Texas this week. I was ok but, now I'm getting sad. Sadder than I thought I'd be. I know her world is changing but, mine is too. I know she's moving only a couple of states away but, it's not the same. There's the little Alex in me that's mad and sad that her best friend is leaving. It's also bringing up slight 'abandonment' issues. And I heard once, "Love is witnessing Joy". She's found the man of her dreams and will be starting a life with him. It makes my heart alive and open seeing and knowing that all those tears and heartbreaks we got each other through were all for something. Friend, I love you and I'm going to miss you. And I'm just honored to witness you and your joy. #BFF
* I wanted to share with you WiseStamp. I created my own email signature. It's way more professional looking than my normal Gmail signature. Give it a whirl if you'd like!
Now on to the main attraction.......
You know what I'm really good at? Calling people out on their bullshit. When necessary. And with love.
This is the kind of bullshit I'm talking about.
Alex: So, what do you want?
Friend: Oh, you know, I don't have to be famous or rich or anything. I just want to work and live comfortably.
Alex: Oh really? That's cool. You know what I want? I want to win an Oscar.....or two. Then I also want to have my own production company. I already picked out a location. It's on Wilshire and Cochran. It's this corner building, it's all glass so you can see through from the outside, and it's even got parking in the back. I see casting going on downstairs, I'll throw a nice couch down there, make it fancy, then there's a loft-like section on the second level, and that's where all the staff works and operates out of. I'd love to become a spokesperson for a high-end brand...either clothes or jewelry. I'd love to get on some magazine covers like Vanity Fair, looking all dramatic. I want to do interviews. Selectively, but lots of them since I love meeting new people and talking. I already visualized being interviewed by James Lipton and appearing on The Actor's Studio. He's almost 90 years old so I hope sooner than later. Oh, and Oprah. Can't forget Ms. Winfrey. Then,
Friend: Oh wait. I want that too. But, for me I'd do a little less interviews and more magazine covers. I want to direct my own feature that I'll be the star in as well. And then get an Oscar for that. I want to collaborate with the Coen Brothers for a project. I've had this idea for a while. It's about.....
Do you get my drift here?
I know that by my being unapologetic when I talk about my dreams, it allows others to talk about theirs. I'm not afraid to come off crazy. And if it's crazy, so be it. It's too much fun. Especially with friends. Once my friends get going, they can't stop. I literally see a difference with their body language, I hear a difference in their voice, I feel a difference energetically from them. When they were bullshitting themselves and me, their bodies and voices were more closed off and tight. When they started to talk and dream big, they literally would LIGHT UP.
That's how I know they're telling the Truth. They light up.
Many of us need permission to be okay with our dreams.
This is why we feel so alone even though we're all in the same boat. We have dreams, daydreams, fantasies that are dear to us and we can't even say them out loud to our family and friends for fear of coming off delusional and too 'head in the clouds'. My accountability buddy said he felt like people would think he's psychotic. I hear ya.
Isn't it wild that we're ashamed of our own dreams?
I grew up hearing, "Who do you think you are?" a lot. Not because my family wanted to put me down but because they were projecting their fears on to me. Dreaming big in my family is either becoming a doctor or a lawyer, and getting married to a nice, rich Korean man. What I'm doing is still very hard for them to wrap their heads around. There's no certainty, there's no security. They're trying though....for me. My family believes in surviving. I believe in THRIVING. If you don't dream big for yourself, who will? If you don't believe in yourself, who will? You are the start point. Always.
We all have that voice inside that says, "Who do you think you are to dream so big?" But, we also have that voice inside that says, "Listen, I know you're scared. But, what you're doing is the most courageous thing anyone can do for themselves and for the world. I'm proud of you. And I'm with you til the end. So, dream big. As big as you can. Do what you came here to do, and do what only you can do. You deserve it all. It may not happen all at once but, it's on its way. It's on its way. IT'S ON ITS WAY!"
At any given moment, you have the free will to choose which voice to listen to. At any given moment, you can give yourself permission to do, think, feel, whatever it is you want.
Do you know this quote? It's a Marianne Williamson quote. I think it's great for everyone, especially for artists.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.
Don't be afraid to own and claim your dream. If you're wishy washy about it, of course The Universe is going to be wishy washy about it.
Take a moment to go to your happy place for a bit.
Go as far as your imagination takes you. No need to rush. Take your time. Think about it. You just booked something, you just found out you got nominated for an Oscar, you stumble upon the love of your life, etc. What happened just before? Who's around you? Are you alone? Where are you? Are you sitting? Are you standing? How are you standing? Do you smell something? How does the air feel? How are you feeling? Do you feel any sensations in your body? And where? What are you wearing? How does the conversation go?
You just did some visualizing. Wasn't that fun?
Now, if you want to take it a step further in taking action on claiming, you can you tell someone. Sound scary? Ha! Then, you must. It's not the easiest thing to do but, I'm getting better at tooting my own horn. Sometimes when it happens, I milk it. My friends think it's hilarious and cute. Because I'm just like a little kid having a good time. Who doesn't love a little kid having a good time?
Maybe we can get together with friends and share our wildest daydreams and fantasies. Didn't we do that a lot as kids growing up? We would tell each other what we want to be when we grow up and say what we're going to accomplish, who we're going to marry, where we're going to live, etc....
So, personally, I'm going to call more people out on their bullshit. And because it's done with love, you won't even know it. I hope others will do that for me too. And let's also create some safe spaces for ourselves and for one another to express our Truths. For real.
Oh yes, and if it feels good to you, feel free to comment below what you want. Let's get vulnerable and bold. :)
How can you do that today and this week?
Have a THRIVING week!
with MAAAAD LOVE,
x Alex
No comments:
Post a Comment