To Self-Promote Or Not Self-Promote." Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 9.

My new 'LOVE' necklace from www.shoppublik.com

I love Shoppublik!  

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....



*  Quick Ani Aveytan's workshop review.

Can I just sing someone's praises??!!!  Ani Aveytan.  Jeeeeez, that lady is one gem.  One-of-a-kind, human being.  I did her workshop this past Sunday at The Actor's Link.  Loved it.  Had FUN, people...FUN.  It was my first one back in a year and I was apprehensive about it.  I have to say, there are good and nice casting directors out there but, no one comes close to Ani.  By far, the most giving, loving, helpful, encouraging, supportive, kind casting director I have met.  She's with Bruce Newburg's office and they cast mostly dramas but, she is casting a comedy too at the moment.  I changed my scene from drama to comedy the last minute...like in front of her, last minute.  She said she was happy I ended up doing comedy.  She said, "You 'get' comedy, so I know you can do drama.  I can see there's life in you."  That choked me up because yes, there's plenty of life in me....I've been to hell and back for the last few years.  It took me lots of overcoming inner demons to get myself to sign up and stand in front of her.  Some people can do it like a robot...that's not me.  I put so much into things, things take a lot out of me.  Her kind words will mean more to me than I think she'll ever know.  Thank you Ani for being my first casting director to workshop.

Since I'll have my new head shots soon, I'll be sending her one along with a Thank You note.  I will definitely be staying in touch with her.  Take her workshop.  She's a class act.



Now on to the main attraction.....


So, to self-promote or not self-promote, that is the question.

Social media is here to stay.  Do you realize that we're living in an amazing time where we, as artists can reach the world from the privacy of our own home?  You can even make money without having to be somewhere.  In the past, we needed to go through gatekeepers first to reach an audience.  Not anymore.  You have the power...you have everything you need right there in front of you.

But, this whole thing makes you more uncomfortable than comfortable.  Because when we had gatekeepers, it took the pressure off of us.  Now, we have the ability to take things into our own hands....and that's scary.

I get it.

Our insecurities begin securing themselves into our daily lives.  Taking action becomes scary and hard.



"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?'  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson, the most awesome woman and teacher.


This is the place where I live from...where I operate out of.  This is how I make decisions for myself and my business.  Also why I blog and how I blog.

How do you feel after reading that quote?  How did you feel while reading it?  Does your heart remember or recognize who you really are?  Does it make you want to cry?  Does it hurt because you 'get it' but haven't done anything to take action?  Or is just blah blah blah bullshit and you could care less?

If the cells in your body know and understand that quote, if you have an emotional response to it, then this post is especially for you.

These are the first couple of lines to the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, "Pedagogue Of Young Gods" by Saul Williams.  He's an amazing lyricist.

"Are you afraid to have someone believe in you?  Can you commit to your ideals even if you think nothing of it, are you willing to allow others to think the world of it, and of you?  Pedagogue Of Young Gods."

Damn, it's so good.


SO, what are you afraid of?  Are you afraid that people will think you're just full of yourself, self-centered, and ego-driven?  Or if you have an opinion, are you afraid of coming off 'holier than thou?'  So freaking what?  Do YOU think that of yourself?

I don't give a shit what people think.  And I do give a whole lot of shit what people think.  So, what do you do as an artist and entrepreneur?  Let's face it, we're entrepreneurs too.  How do you promote yourself without feeling self-indulgent?  How do you promote your work with integrity for yourself, for your art, for the world, and for your business?

First, let's replace the word promote with share.  Maybe that'll help.  Because certain words definitely have an effect on me.....like the word improv.  Ugh, bleh, eeeeeeeek, errrrrrrr....might as well tell me to drop dead right there.  I have to replace the word improv with play.  Whatever works for you.



"Most people are stuck in their Egos that everything revolves around me, me, and more me.  But if you want to be rich in the truest sense of the word, it can't all be about you.  It has to include adding value to other people's lives."
- T.Harv Eker, motivational speaker and best-selling author (Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind)


Now, it's all about giving.

You want to know why talking about your accomplishments on Facebook and Twitter is uncomfortable?  Because you're asking for something in return.

The trick to giving is giving.  Giving comes from pure love.  It expects nothing in return.  Giving is effortless.  It's easy and natural.  It's when you start expecting, that's when you feel Resistance towards giving.  (I have to remind myself of this especially when dating.  Yup.)


Is it just me?  Let's say you book something and you want to let your friends and fans know.  But, your insecurities tell you, "Who do you think you are?  People are going to think you're bragging.  No one likes a bragger.  Your accomplishments aren't even that great...wait until you book something bigger."  Sound familiar?  Then you actually do put it up on a social media platform and get no feedback.  You feel even worse than before.  Then you start saying to yourself, "Well, they're just haters.  No one acknowledges what I do.  No one cares.  Everyone is selfish.  Maybe they're not my real friends."  Sound familiar again?

Have YOU enjoyed your joy first?  Have YOU acknowledged your own accomplishments first?  Remember, everything outside is a reflection of your inside.  When you're proud of yourself, you emit a pure energy into the world.  That's your gift to the world.  The outside validation no longer matters.  It's just you expressing.  And others will be drawn to that pure energy.  How could they not?  It's contagious.  It's the natural law.  So, give to yourself first.  Allow yourself to relish first.  Don't wait to enjoy once you get validation from others....your own validation is the beginning of everything.

I recently got myself a personal trainer.  I never really worked out, worked out.  Just running here and there, hiking, and doing yoga.  Don't get me wrong, I have no complaints with my body....I love my body.  But, as I'm getting older (I'm in my 30's now), I see gravity doing its thing and I want to tone up.  I've been putting short video clips of my workout on Facebook.  Some people have said to me, "Why are you putting up videos of you working out?  I would never do that."  Others have said, "Alex, I watched your workout videos while I was in bed and you totally made me get up and go to the gym."  I appreciate all the feedback.  Because I know that has nothing to do with me.  I'm just reflecting back to them what they want to see.  I am just a projection of their thinking.  Nothing is personal.  So, JUST DO YOUR THING.

Ok, so now we know what it means to give, and always give whatever you want, to yourself first.  Did you know that too much giving is unhealthy?  I'll explain.

Balance is key.  In anything and everything.  Too much of anything can turn toxic.  And to find balance, you're going to have to go the extremes first.  That's how you'll gauge where YOUR balance is.  Allow yourself to go to extremes without judgement.  It's a process.

This blog has taught me to give in a healthy way.  But, how can giving be unhealthy?  Only giving (and not receiving) is a form of power, in my experience.  You have the control to give what you want, when you want, and how you want.  Receiving is the other half.  And it's not easy.  Receiving takes vulnerability and intimacy.  The masculine energy is about giving, taking charge.  The feminine energy is about receiving, allowing.  Yin and yang.  (Again, applies to dating).  I used to have a difficult time asking for what I want, asking for help, and then receiving.  It made me feel like I was weak and incompetent.  When you share and give your work, receive the love and support.  Just like Saul Williams says, 'Can you commit to your ideals even if you think nothing of it, are you willing to allow others to think the world of it, and of you?"


To feel peace with your art and business, you must understand the balance of giving and taking.  Most importantly, you have to know YOUR balance with give and take.  I recently watched a part of Beyonce's HBO documentary, "Life Is But A Dream."  She said she's a giver and she wants to be as generous as she can to her fans but, at the same time, she has to keep some things to herself...for the sake of her private and personal life.  This has been her struggle.  Now, this is going to look different for each person.  And it's going to look different where you are in your journey.  Only you and your heart knows this answer.  Be honest with yourself.  Is it your fear and Ego holding you back, or are you really honoring yourself?  Sometimes saying 'NO' is saying 'YES'.   Your #1 gift to the world isn't about saving and changing lives....it's about being honest and authentic.  When you commit to being the best you, you create space for others to do the same for themselves.


This last one is for my practical folks.

Hire yourself or fire yourself.  You have to be your own boss at times, and your employee at others.  The artist in us is sensitive.  We get attached to our work, to outcomes, to opinions of others, etc.  And because we take it personally, the business person in us doesn't stand a chance.  We become limited by our fears.  Step out of yourself.  Tell yourself you're a damn good business person.  And let's say you hired someone to handle your PR, do you want someone who is going to be afraid to get you and your work out there because he/she is afraid of potential rumors and opinions?   Or would you like someone who believes in your work for what it is and simply does his/her job and gets you out there?  This is always a good exercise to detach yourself from your work.  Would you hire yourself?  Would you fire yourself?


I hope you hire yourself and keep yourself around for a long long time.  Remember, people want heroes (Read Joseph Campbell's work), people want to cheer one another on, people want to be inspired, and people want to feel connected.  Your happiness and joy IS the gift itself.  Feeeeeel that shit and let us feel it with you.  And when someone gives you a compliment, receive it.  It's yours dude.  "Your playing small does not serve the world."  Be the best you, share and give the best you, and receive all the kudos you get.  You deserve it.



Hope you share the shit out of you!


with MAD LOVE,

Alex