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Shooting with Kelsey Edwards @ Catchlight Studios.
Dear Diary,
Here's my offering to you this week.....
* Once a month, I will have a guest blogger. The first guest blog will be on March 12th. I'm excited to have my friends share their journeys. I'm also curious what others are doing and thinking. Living the artist's life can be lonely...but, it doesn't have to be. When you share, you see you have friends everywhere.
* I took new headshots with my friend, Kelsey Edwards of Kelsey Edwards Photography. I am stoked to see how the pics come out because I had too much fun. And her studio is amazing. Great energy....open, airy, and bright.
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* I have my Ani Aveytan workshop, Sunday. I'm ready. Let's book some more television this year, shall we? And like the last time I committed to doing casting director workshops, I'm just going to do them without any expectation of outcome. My goal is to simply build relationships and practice stepping out of my comfort zone....if jobs come my way, then it's a bonus.
Now on to the main attraction....
I did it! Show #1, done.
I'm not a 'cool' actress. I'm a hot mess actress. I have terrible stage fright, I sweat like crazy (especially my upper lips and chest area....you've heard me talk about this in my last storytelling show), my mouth gets dry, I go to the bathroom a lot, I don't sleep well, I don't eat much even though I'm hungry, I lash out on people, I become MIA, I get super irritable,......my performance anxiety can really take a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally.
But, guess what......I still get my ass up there.
And while my ass was up there, I realized, "I belong up here. This is my place in the world." I don't know why this chokes me up so much.
Until I step on stage, my fears and Ego run amok. Until I step on stage, I don't think I'm good enough to be there. Until I step on stage, I think, "Alex, what the fuck are you doing? Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you have something worthwhile to say?" Until I step on stage, I worry about what others will think about me....'Will they like me?' Until I step on stage, I worry about how I look. Until I step on stage I am an amateur, or at least I keep thinking I am. Until I step on stage, I think I'm gonna die in front of an audience.
And then I step on stage.
Because I belong on the other side of my fears. That's my place in the world.
Wanna hear some magical news? A producer for another storytelling show loved my story and performance......I have been invited to be in their line-up for a future show. I will keep you posted. My coach, Suzanne said that The Universe is definitely showing me that I am in alignment....I am already getting invited to do shows rather than going out to book myself for events. I think she's absolutely right. ;)
My friend taped my performance but, I'm not sure if I'm going to put it up. My live stories are a little X rated and honest....and it's only going to get more X rated and brutally honest. Maybe I'll grow some balls to share it via social media in the future, but only live for now. However, I will make an exception for my blog readers. If you'd like to see it, I can send you a private/unlisted link for viewing. You can either comment here, Facebook me, or Twitter me .
I hope you 'step on stage' this week and experience where you belong in the world. The feeling is just fucking awesome. Have a great week!
with MAD LOVE,
Alex
My training with NASM will help you on this topic alex. Your dry mouth and difficulty to remember stuff, and feeling hungry at auditions is part of your performances. The best athletes know that nutrition is a big part of peak performance. So try this the day before your auditions or acting jobs. Eat well the day before and sleep deeply so at least 6-8 hours. Then keep a few healthy snacks with you for before your performance and during, as well as a water bottle. Keep alcohol to a minimum because it dehydrates your body. The best snacks are gonna be a mix of protein, carbs and healthy oil (no saturated fat).. So it could be a greek yogurt, fruits and veggies, and some sunflower or flaxseed. Or almond butter, zuchinni, and some olive oil. Or a whole wheat grain, some beef jerky (or a piece of grilled salmon/or chicken strips) and some grapeseed oil when you cook them... or a smoothie that has( whey protein, frozen/fresh fruits and frozen veggies and flaxseed) Staying hydrated and having enough carbs will help your brain and body be at peak performance just like athletes about to compete with 4000 other artists for 1 role on a tv show :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Ronald! I'm making sure I always have snacks on me. I cut out meat but, salmon strips sound cool. Thanks dude for reading. Talk later on our call!
DeleteHi Alex,
ReplyDeleteI would love the link to the video you mention, as I really appreciate reading your blogs and watching the videos. Please send the link to debbie@debbiebridge.com.
Great work to you for the first live show. As my background is the opposite of yours, I've done more live performances than film/tv, I understand your pre performance nerves, but I have learnt to make friends with it over the years and do what the previous person has suggested - make sure I have food to hand because when I'm hungry, I tend to end up being tired, not great things to be doing to myself before a show, so I really try to ensure that I eat well and the food is there. I do find shows eat up more than my normal life - I always lose weight when performing, but I'm, also, always eating and that in turn tends to help me sleep well. I love to treat my body well, so it will treat me well when I need it!
Hi Debbie!
DeleteYes, eat Alex eat! I've been making some overall lifestyle changes and I'm consciously listening to my body more. I hope with some more practice getting on stage, and making sure I'm well fed and slept....I'll be a pro in no time.
Thank you, Debbie. I will def send you the link. Have a wonderful day and weekend!