This has been one crazy week. I had rehearsal all last week...my scene partner and I put in 6 days, 9-10 hours each day because I was away. And I just got back from my first day from Larry Moss Intensive and now I have literally one hour to write this before going to my NCIS workshop. I don't even have time to eat these days! No wonder actresses are skinny! ;)
This is me right now scarfing down a salad with avocado. That's all I had at home.
My "I'm pooped" face.
But, class was amazing! Amazing amazing. Larry worked our asses off. Our scene was from the play "The Owl and The Pussycat" by Bill Manoff. Great play. It was our first work but he probably spent about an hour and half with us alone. He stopped us a couple of times to direct and give notes, then we went at it again. That went on for a while. Larry did not let us off the hook at all. I'm so grateful to him. Larry is so intuitive, it's scary. I think every actor should experience him...even if it's just auditing. He also had us do some exercises to get us into our bodies...we punched the air as hard as we could and said our dialogue to one another. I had to scream it of course. All of a sudden, becoming emotional threw me for a loop and I couldn't seem to get my lines out. I haven't yelled that loud in so long...boy, did that feel good. I knew my character, Doris, was a highly emotional gal but, whoa, she's vicious, dramatic, messy, sad, angry, scared, physical, sarcastic, and then some. I let the beast out today. It took so much out of me and as tired as I am, I feel more alive.
I'm more alive right now than I was this morning because I got to live out a piece of myself that felt dead for some time. I'm so lucky to be an actress. Because I get to let the beast out from time to time without consequence. I get to get ugly and it's beautiful. I get to be unapologetic for all my thoughts and actions. I get to be TRUE to myself when I'm acting. I can say, "Hey Alex, what are you thinking?", "Hey Alex, how are you feeling?", "Hey Alex, what do you feel like doing?", "Hey Alex, it's okay to scream.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to cry.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be mad.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be scared.", "Hey Alex, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Larry said to me at one point, "What are the tears for?" I said, "No, tears." He said, "Yes, I see tears in your eyes...what are they there for?" Huh, I was denying my tears. Then when I took a breath and let myself feel that there were tears in my eyes, my heart and body felt it too. I was being honest with myself, to myself. It was a tender moment with me, my soul, my heart. The mind is one powerful thing. I think my lesson today wasn't 'how to act' but, 'how to feel and let it be okay'.
We have a lot of homework to do before Wednesday, our second work. I'm gonna rock it. I'm gonna make sure that each line I say is either vicious, desperate, sweet, scared, sarcastic, sad, angry, etc...I'm gonna bring Doris to life. And bring me to life. I'm excited and grateful.
Off I go to my next workshop! Hope you're enjoying your process too. Acting isn't easy or glamorous one bit...I know. I know it involves every part of you...every part of your soul. Sandra Oh once said...and don't quote me on this..but, it went something like this...."Only pursue acting if it pains you not to". Holler Sandra. It will pain me. If it pains you too, go at it with every you got...you will discover something great and unimaginable. :)
Have a great week.
Last Week's Goal: Memorize!
Update: Done!
This Week's Goal: Larry Moss Intensive and NCIS workshop.
with LOVE,
Alex
This is me right now scarfing down a salad with avocado. That's all I had at home.
My "I'm pooped" face.
But, class was amazing! Amazing amazing. Larry worked our asses off. Our scene was from the play "The Owl and The Pussycat" by Bill Manoff. Great play. It was our first work but he probably spent about an hour and half with us alone. He stopped us a couple of times to direct and give notes, then we went at it again. That went on for a while. Larry did not let us off the hook at all. I'm so grateful to him. Larry is so intuitive, it's scary. I think every actor should experience him...even if it's just auditing. He also had us do some exercises to get us into our bodies...we punched the air as hard as we could and said our dialogue to one another. I had to scream it of course. All of a sudden, becoming emotional threw me for a loop and I couldn't seem to get my lines out. I haven't yelled that loud in so long...boy, did that feel good. I knew my character, Doris, was a highly emotional gal but, whoa, she's vicious, dramatic, messy, sad, angry, scared, physical, sarcastic, and then some. I let the beast out today. It took so much out of me and as tired as I am, I feel more alive.
I'm more alive right now than I was this morning because I got to live out a piece of myself that felt dead for some time. I'm so lucky to be an actress. Because I get to let the beast out from time to time without consequence. I get to get ugly and it's beautiful. I get to be unapologetic for all my thoughts and actions. I get to be TRUE to myself when I'm acting. I can say, "Hey Alex, what are you thinking?", "Hey Alex, how are you feeling?", "Hey Alex, what do you feel like doing?", "Hey Alex, it's okay to scream.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to cry.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be mad.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be scared.", "Hey Alex, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Larry said to me at one point, "What are the tears for?" I said, "No, tears." He said, "Yes, I see tears in your eyes...what are they there for?" Huh, I was denying my tears. Then when I took a breath and let myself feel that there were tears in my eyes, my heart and body felt it too. I was being honest with myself, to myself. It was a tender moment with me, my soul, my heart. The mind is one powerful thing. I think my lesson today wasn't 'how to act' but, 'how to feel and let it be okay'.
We have a lot of homework to do before Wednesday, our second work. I'm gonna rock it. I'm gonna make sure that each line I say is either vicious, desperate, sweet, scared, sarcastic, sad, angry, etc...I'm gonna bring Doris to life. And bring me to life. I'm excited and grateful.
Off I go to my next workshop! Hope you're enjoying your process too. Acting isn't easy or glamorous one bit...I know. I know it involves every part of you...every part of your soul. Sandra Oh once said...and don't quote me on this..but, it went something like this...."Only pursue acting if it pains you not to". Holler Sandra. It will pain me. If it pains you too, go at it with every you got...you will discover something great and unimaginable. :)
Have a great week.
Last Week's Goal: Memorize!
Update: Done!
This Week's Goal: Larry Moss Intensive and NCIS workshop.
with LOVE,
Alex
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