Monday, May 30, 2011

Television, here I come! Week 21. 'To Survive or To Thrive'






I started KICKBOXING this week!

I've been wanting to tone up, AND I'm embracing the fact that as an Asian American actress, knowing some sort of martial arts or self-defense techniques will definitely 'up' the chances of my getting in that room.  I'm just trying to do something everyday as if I'm living my dream now.  As if it's all taking place now.  And because I believe in the Law of Attraction, and 'Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity', Seneca.   I am living today as if all the things I want are on their way so I'm getting ready to receive them one by one.  :)  " 'So, we're looking for an actress who has training in some sort of fighting skills', 'Well, funny you say that, (har har har) I have kickboxing background (har har har)' ".  And then you know how this scenario ends....I book the job of course.    I was listening to Abraham Hicks on youtube the other day and one thing that clicked was that we already have what we want...God/Universe wants to give it to us, and will when it's the best time, we just gotta get out of our own way.  And so, I work on ways to allow for things to happen as they should, when they should.  This doesn't come very easy for me because I'm such a control freak but, I'm working on it.  Meditating, breathing, and free writing in my book are some ways I'm approaching this.  And then all the while, I still have to remind myself everyday that my dream is worth dreaming, my story is worth telling.

There's a story or stories in all of us.  And they have the right to live and breathe just like you and me.  And when I can just live and breathe first, my stories will have life through me.  As artists, we burn from within to live fully, to feel fully, and to express fully.  This is what we are called to do and if we don't honor that, we will only be alive to survive.  And I don't want to just survive, I want to thrive.  I'm no 'half-asser'.  :)


And here's the first step.......I AM thriving.  I AM thriving.  I AM THRIVING!!!

I am sooooo thriving and it starts with believing that I am.  And how do I start believing when I think I'm not??  Stop thinking it, FEEL it.  And how do I start feeling it?  Say it over and over again...everyday.  Then start aligning myself, my actions, my decisions with that picture of myself thriving.  God/Universe will take it from there.

So, take care of me, take care of others, and take care of my sh*t.  My new motto.  :)

What does your picture look like of you THRIVING??  Career?  Love??  Health???  All of them???  Because you can have it all.  So, let's visualize it...and do get specific with it.  Specificity helps me feel it more, which is the whole point of the exercise.  And if you have a friend you can daydream together with, do it...get giddy about it.  I have a couple of friends who I can talk to about my daydreams and we get so excited together.  It's so fun.


Have a great week everyone.  :)

Events/News/Goodies Updates:

* Fuzzy Connections, the short I Co-produced is in Dances With Films Festival!  I also make a cameo!

   Short Competition Group 1 at the Laemmle Theater.
   Saturday, June 4th.  @ 12:30 pm.
   Buy your tickets now and I hope to see you there!

https://www.laemmle.com/purchasetickets.php?m=MjI5MS0wMDItMDYwNDIwMTEtMTIzMC02

* Here are some photos from the ' 3 Guys and a Couch ' Premiere!  Yaaay!  And thank you to 5 Minute Photos for the pictures!!!!







And I went to the most awesome awesome concert this weekend.  Thanks O.  OMG.  I can't live without their music now.  Black Dub and Rocco DeLuca.  I'm obsessed...I can't stop listening to them on repeat.  






Last Week's Goals:  Revise day job resume, acting resume, manager showcase.

Update:  Done, done, and DONE!  I actually got a new job already!  Went on an interview Friday and got it.  It's promo work for events!!  Yaay!  My new and improved acting resume is also ready to go.  Although I kind of want to change it up a bit more.  And the manager showcase went well.  7 managers were there!

This Week's Goals:  Revise acting resume some more.  Follow-up letters to managers.  Look into getting new headshots.  Kickboxing!




with LOVE,

Alex


Monday, May 23, 2011

Television, here I come! Week 20. 'Back To The Drawing Board'



What an exhausting but wonderful week.  I just finished my Intensive Workshop with Larry Moss and it kicked my ass.  I really want to work on plays now.  Wow.  But there was no better way to get back into it after my long vacation.

And now after an intense two weeks, I'm sad that it's over.  I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to share the experience with.  It was like family.  We spoke the same language.  It was artists, just artists, coming together to learn how to make our lives and the world a better place...through acting.  And it didn't matter who you were, what show or film you worked on, not worked on, who your parents were, how long you've been acting, each of us checked our Egos at the door and that theater was filled with camaraderie.  We sympathized with one another, we rooted for one another, and this beautiful energy began with Larry.

I learned a lot about life and acting but, Larry gave me one incredible advice...and I'm taking it.  While giving notes to me after my first work, he asked "Do your parents help you?".  I answered, "Huh?"  He said, "Do your parents help you financially?"  I said, "Errrr, um, yes, a little bit."  He said, "Stop it."  Now, I don't think I was wearing my 'MOOCHER' shirt on that day but somehow he knew.  He said to stop taking even a penny from them and to take full responsibility of my own dream, my own career.  You see, he's absolutely right.  The "Oh sh*t" I was thinking and feeling was a sign that he's absolutely right.  This was something I've been thinking about but feared it was true...so, what do you naturally do when something scares the crap out of you....you ignore it and pretend it's not real.  That's what I have been doing.  Oh geeeeee whiiiiiiz.

With getting financial support, there's guilt associated with that.  And the guilt isn't necessarily towards my parents, it's really towards myself.  This guilt is a reflection on me, towards me, because I know deep down that I'm capable of owning my dream 100% and I have the ability to fulfill it on my own, on my own terms.  I owe that to me and my dream.  Even if I were the daughter to a kabillionaire, I'm sure I'd feel guilty for taking my parents money because, I am ME, I am my own identity with my own dreams.  This is what the TRUE ME is telling me and instead of feeling and enabling the low vibrational thought and feeling, I can turn it around in 3 steps....1.  Acknowledge this feeling of guilt instead of pretending it's not there, 2.  See why I'm feeling this way on a deeper level or why I'm ignoring this feeling on a deeper level, and 3.  Figure out what changes need to be made and make them.  (Shiver)  I'm shivering just thinking about it, really.  But, I want to stay here in LA, I want to keep acting, I want to take classes, I want to write and produce my own films, I want to do a one-woman show, I want my dream to LIVE.  I'm a big DREAMer but, I can't neglect the real world.  So, I'm gonna have to get a day job.  I'm going to make it happen and go all the way for it.  I quote this quote all the time but, now it's making even more sense.......

'The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred...unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way."  
-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I know deep down in my heart...you know that little voice inside you that tells you the truth all the time...well, that little voice is telling me very LOUDLY that, THAT is my actual first step.  Yes, workshopping, taking classes, and auditioning is important...but, that's the easy part.  The hard part is really committing to my dream 100%...and for me, it starts with ridding myself of this guilt.  Back to the drawing board for Alex.

So, you're doing everything you can but, something isn't clicking...or something else is holding you back.....do you know what that can be??  It's probably something so obvious yet so scary.  Take a look and see.  Let's figure this out so we can make our dreams come true.  :)

Event and News Updates:

*  Sitcom Premier of 'Three Guys and A Couch" by Legacy Pictures Entertainment
    May 26, 2011      8pm-10pm
    Dim Mak Studios/Cinespace
  
I'm in this playing a funny and cute lil Asian.  :)


And here's the Trailer for it!


3 Guys & a Couch Trailer from Steven Hauber on Vimeo.


*  My good friend Olanna Taskey just came out with her new single and it's available on iTunes!!!  Lend a ear!!!

And in the spirit of Comedy...because I used to say I won't play parts that require "Asian" things....like accents BUT, I've been actually having fun.  Here are some videos for you to LAUGH OUT LOUD to. :)


Korean Beauty Music Video by Tall Giraffe Production





Yellow Fever by Adam Bobrow




Last Week's Goals:  Larry Moss Intensive and NCIS workshop

Update:  Done and Done!

This Week's Goals:  Revise Day Job Resume, Revise Theatrical Resume, Manager Showcase on Tuesday!



Have a great week and thank you so much for reading.  :)  :)


with LOVE,

Alex

Monday, May 16, 2011

Television, here I come! Week 19. "Let the BEAST out"

Sorry for the delay everyone!

This has been one crazy week.  I had rehearsal all last week...my scene partner and I put in 6 days, 9-10 hours each day because I was away.  And I just got back from my first day from Larry Moss Intensive and now I have literally one hour to write this before going to my NCIS workshop.  I don't even have time to eat these days!  No wonder actresses are skinny!  ;)

This is me right now scarfing down a salad with avocado.  That's all I had at home.








My "I'm pooped" face.

But, class was amazing!  Amazing amazing.  Larry worked our asses off.  Our scene was from the play "The Owl and The Pussycat" by Bill Manoff.  Great play.  It was our first work but he probably spent about an hour and half with us alone.  He stopped us a couple of times to direct and give notes, then we went at it again.  That went on for a while.  Larry did not let us off the hook at all.  I'm so grateful to him.  Larry is so intuitive, it's scary.  I think every actor should experience him...even if it's just auditing.  He also had us do some exercises to get us into our bodies...we punched the air as hard as we could and said our dialogue to one another.  I had to scream it of course.  All of a sudden, becoming emotional threw me for a loop and I couldn't seem to get my lines out.  I haven't yelled that loud in so long...boy, did that feel good.  I knew my character, Doris, was a highly emotional gal but, whoa, she's vicious, dramatic, messy, sad, angry, scared, physical, sarcastic, and then some.  I let the beast out today.  It took so much out of me and as tired as I am, I feel more alive.

I'm more alive right now than I was this morning because I got to live out a piece of myself that felt dead for some time.  I'm so lucky to be an actress.  Because I get to let the beast out from time to time without consequence.  I get to get ugly and it's beautiful.  I get to be unapologetic for all my thoughts and actions.  I get to be TRUE to myself when I'm acting.  I can say, "Hey Alex, what are you thinking?", "Hey Alex, how are you feeling?", "Hey Alex, what do you feel like doing?", "Hey Alex, it's okay to scream.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to cry.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be mad.", "Hey Alex, it's okay to be scared.", "Hey Alex, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay."  Larry said to me at one point, "What are the tears for?"  I said, "No, tears."  He said, "Yes, I see tears in your eyes...what are they there for?"  Huh, I was denying my tears.  Then when I took a breath and let myself feel that there were tears in my eyes, my heart and body felt it too.  I was being honest with myself, to myself.  It was a tender moment with me, my soul, my heart.  The mind is one powerful thing.  I think my lesson today wasn't 'how to act' but, 'how to feel and let it be okay'.

We have a lot of homework to do before Wednesday, our second work.  I'm gonna rock it.  I'm gonna make sure that each line I say is either vicious, desperate, sweet, scared, sarcastic, sad, angry, etc...I'm gonna bring Doris to life.  And bring me to life.  I'm excited and grateful.

Off I go to my next workshop!  Hope you're enjoying your process too.  Acting isn't easy or glamorous one bit...I know.  I know it involves every part of you...every part of your soul.  Sandra Oh once said...and don't quote me on this..but, it went something like this...."Only pursue acting if it pains you not to".  Holler Sandra.  It will pain me.  If it pains you too, go at it with every you got...you will discover something great and unimaginable.  :)

Have a great week.



Last Week's Goal:  Memorize!

Update:  Done!

This Week's Goal:  Larry Moss Intensive and NCIS workshop.  


with LOVE,

Alex

Monday, May 9, 2011

Television, here I come! Week 18. 'I'm a NOVICE all the way!'

Hello Errrrrrrbody!!



Before I get down to business....

How cute is my mother.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I got to talk to my mom briefly.  She said she's seeing a change in me.  You see, I have been known to have a temper...a short fuse...especially with my mother.  But she said this last visit home, I was more calm and tolerant.  Oh mom.  My mom and I went to the Korean spa together and I got to look at her...really look at her...her face.  She had her eyes closed, relaxing and I quietly stared at her.  I looked at her eyes, her nose, her lips, her cheeks, her hair, her forehead, her ears, her skin, her barely there wrinkles, her barely there pores, her barely there crows feet, and I thought to myself, "Holy, if I'm anything like her, I'm going to age pretty damn well!  Holla!"  And then I thought, "Wow, she's so pretty.  Wow, I feel like I'm seeing my mom for the first time."  I love you mom.  Sorry if I've been a handful but, I couldn't have become the person I am today, the person I am loving and proud of if it weren't for a mom like you.  I can't wait to be a mommy myself one day and love another human being like you love me.  And probably only then will I realize just how much you love me.  Thank you for never giving up on me and thank you for believing in me.  Happy Mother's Day and I hope I can say that to you for many many many more years.  :)  I love you.



So many amazing things happening already.  And I have only been back for a couple of days.

Projects I had worked on are gradually coming to fruition.

1.  Fuzzy Connections, a short I was privileged to Co-produce has been accepted to 2 festivals!  The LA Comedy Festival and Dances With Films!  The LA Comedy Festival screening is this Sunday, the 15th @ 8pm @ the Acme Theater.  Here's the link to purchase tickets.
http://www.laughstub.com/buyTicket.cfm?showTimingID=83292&buy
 
And our big screening...our World Premiere screening will be at the Dances With Films.  I believe the dates are tentatively June 4th and 5th.  I will keep you posted.

I make a funny cameo in it too....looking like an Asian Peggy Bundy.  Hope you can come and support and I'd love to see you.  :)



2.  Another screening for a sitcom pilot I'm in!  It's called 3 Guys and a Couch by Legacy Pictures Entertainment.  The screening will be held on May 26th, Thursday, from 8pm-10pm @ Dim Mak Studios/Cinespace.  Another funny role I have.  It's sure to give you a tickle or two.  Hope you can make it!!!

3.  As soon as I got off the plane in LA, I received a voicemail from a production company I had sent in a voice demo to early last year....yes, you read that right.....not early this year, but, last year, 2010.  She wanted to see if I was still interested in voice over work so she can submit me to some of her clients.  Uh, yeaaah!  It was the coolest Welcome Back from the Universe and Hollywood.  Thank you!


This week is going to be one busy week.  And so is the next.

This week I go into rehearsal for Larry Moss's intensive workshop.  My scene is from the play 'The Owl and the Pussycat' by Bill Manoff.  It's a two person play and it is hilarious.  I play Doris, a  prostitute/model/actress.  There was a movie in 1970 with Barbara Streisand and George Segal.  I haven't seen it but, read some reviews online and apparently Ms. Barbara did a fantastic job.  I have to memorize about 30 pages for class.

Gulp.

I hear that Larry doesn't let anything slide in class.  If your part requires an accent, you better have it down.  If you need to have specific props and costume, better have them.  I'm ready to have my ass kicked.  I got his book The Intent To Live and it's a meaty one.  Give it a read....it's genius.

So I had signed up for a workshop with Bob Lambert, CD for All My Children, and I was just informed that the show has been cancelled.  I emailed my consultant to see if I can pull out of that one and switch into Criminal Minds with Scott David.  I'm sure that won't be a problem.  I can totally see myself on Criminal Minds...can't you?  :)

Because I've been gone for a over a month, I feel like I'm back to the basics...back to square one...starting from scratch.  But this is a career that no matter what, it'll always feel like the beginning, everyday.  You have to wake up and start all over again.  Now I can either let that frustrate me and stress me out OR, I can, like how I saw my mother, like it was for the first time....go into it everyday like a brand new day, brand new adventure.  I think it's important to behave and work like a professional but, feel like a novice.  Feel the excitement like a novice would.  This is what the trip did for me...helped me feel like I'm new to this again.  I'm nervous and excited about starting class again.  I'm nervous and excited about auditioning again.  I'm nervous and excited!!!

So, how are you feeling??  Are you the novice feeling like the frustrated professional?  OR The professional feeling like the grateful and excited novice?  Let's choose the latter and see what happens.  :)




This week's goal:  Rehearsal at least 5 days this week.  Some are all day.
                             Memorize!  Memorize!  Memorize!!!


Hope you have a great week.



with LOVE,

Alex

Monday, May 2, 2011

Television, here I come! Week 17. 'I'm baaaaack!'

I'm baaaaaaaaack!!!!


                                                                  
                                                                     Beautiful Korea




                                                                                           My grandma and her two brothers





First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for joining me on my trip to Korea through my vlogs.  It felt great reading your comments and Facebook messages.  I haven't done vlogs in a while so it was fun to get back to some editing.  My intentions were to not do anything at all while I was gone but, thanks to my friend Judith for planting the idea....and after all, I'm a professional blogger now.  :)  THE SHOW MUST GO ON!  And to Sammyvicious who's been so loyal, sorry for no Monday morning coffee video last week!  :)

I'm home in Brooklyn for a bit and I return to LA this week.  Excited to get back to work.  Below are some links to articles and blogs that have been helping me get pumped.

So, I received some great news while I was gone.  I've been taking a break from training because I wanted to focus on doing some workshops but, I've been feeling like I want to get back to the nitty gritty.  Towards the end of last year, I audited an amazing class and I felt in my bones that I wanted to study with him....Larry Moss.  I've heard so many great things about him and since he only comes to LA twice a year, I thought 'I should see what he's all about for myself'.  Whoa whoa WHOA!  I was blown away.  I walked away after auditing feeling a surge of excitement for the craft once again.  I set a new goal for myself early this year that the next time he was back in town, I was going to study with him.  I stayed in touch with his assistant to make sure I was in the loop.  Well, I'm in!  I got accepted to do his intensive this month!  I got my scene and scene partner and will begin rehearsals next week.  I'm nervous!  But, really stoked!  I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  If you are interested in Larry's workshop, I highly recommend auditing.
http://larrymoss.org/


I also signed up for  2 workshops this month.  One with Bob Lambert, for All My Children and Meredith Fordney for NCIS.  My plan is to do at least one workshop a month to meet and build some sort of relationship with casting directors for television.  Let's get started!!!


So here are the links I promised.  Hope they help you in some way....Enjoy!


(Thank you Dennis Roberts for sending me these youtube links)
Wealth Dynamics in 10 min.
'Roger Hamilton talks about Wealth Dynamics, the profiling system that lets you find out exactly who you are and how you should be working with others around you.  The Wealth Dynamics Profiling System provides clarity in your path of least resistance to wealth creation.'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c70WH_aXizo

'This video is part of the Wealth Dynamics ePowerPack for Stars.  There are eight paths to wealth.  We each have one natural path.  When you know your profile, go directly to the relevant part of Wealth Dynamics Central and access the resources that will support you right now.'   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuN_Gw2_rHY


I initially subscribed to this to learn more about the comedy community but Josh Spector, founder of Connected Comedy gives great tips for not just comedians but also for actors, bloggers, artists.
http://connectedcomedy.com/a-new-way-to-measure-your-success-the-10-goal/


I love me some Brains of Minerva!  They always have the best articles to help fellow actors.  Do you need to get a press kit ready soon???  Read on!
http://www.brainsofminerva.com/2011/04/12/acting/an-experts-tips-on-assembling-your-press-kit-yes-you-need-one/#more-3483


I also subscribe to Bob Fraser's emails.  To be honest, I'm a subscriber wh*re..I subscribe to everyone and their mother.  I'm a curious creature.  However, I have not purchased or tried Bob's tools...yet.  I thought about it.   But he does send some great emails such as this...
9 Steps to An Actor's Mental Power

Many of us go to the gym to stay in shape. (Okay, many of 
YOU ... I sit around like a lump on log. But, don't forget
I'm retired and lazy.) 
 
Staying in good physical condition is a pretty good habit 
that will keep you healthy. However, your mental condition 
is crucial to your dreams of acting success.
 
Because this is a business that has as its main feature a 
great deal of rejection (everybody gets rejected, even big 
stars), it is a good idea to get yourself into peak mental 
condition. 
 
I call it "the success mindset" - and it's a form of mental
power.
 
So, here's my 9 step mental conditioning regimen. Practice 
them every day and the inevitable rejection and frustration
you face will never get the best of you.
 
1. It's usually not about you. I know this is hard to get, 
but believe me, most other people are not thinking about 
you when they do the things they do or make the decisions 
they make. Always keep this in mind when you are on the 
receiving end of a bummer. 
 
Just repeat ... "It's not about me, it's not about me."
 
2. Keep your accomplishments in mind. Again, it's easy to 
forget what you HAVE done when faced with something that 
hasn't worked out for you. But you must keep a good tally 
of each forward step, every little victory, and all the 
small things you get done every day. 
 
Don't forget this golden oldie: "The longest journey begins 
with the first step." Every little accomplishment is getting
you closer to your goal.
 
3. You are already a member of the club. You are a human 
being and like all of the other members of the club, you 
may sometimes feel as if you have something to prove. You 
don't. Other people's opinion of you will not change your 
membership  status. You cannot be drummed out of the club. 
You will always be a human being and you don't have to go
out of your way to prove it. 
 
Relax.
 
4. You are not a walrus. No matter what anybody else says, 
you are not THEIR definition.  If other people say things 
trying to make you feel less than great, it's their problem 
not yours. Wisecracks at your expense are usually just some
poor loser's attempt to be more than they are - by making 
you less than you are. 
 
Ignore them. They will go away. Or you will.
 
5. As I point out in CUE - The Professional Actors Guide, 
love is the engine of success. Be a loving person, love what 
you do, love those who love you - and please don't forget 
that anyone who tries to make you hateful is attempting to 
rob you of your engine. Don't let them do this. You need 
this engine to get where you want to go. Love your enemies
- it will drive them crazy. Hate your enemies and it will 
drive YOU crazy. 
 
Don't get crazy until you have REALLY good health insurance.
 
6. There is no perfect. Oh, we try ... but it just doesn't 
exist. Don't let your desire for the perfect picture, the 
perfect part, the perfect timing or the perfect opportunity 
stop you from going forward in a less than perfect way. 
Going forward is the only way to attain the goal. Waiting 
for the perfect is a plan to keep waiting forever. I repeat, 
there is no perfect. 
 
Don't wait. Do it now.
 
7. What you happen to like is important. If you're a fan of
coffee tables made out of a wagon wheels ... go for it. 
 
Never think that trying to live your life in accord with 
someone else's ideas of what is 'right' will ever work for 
you. It won't. 
 
The reason this is important is this: following your likes 
and dislikes will allow you to be mentally at peace and 
emotionally fit. Best of all, trusting your taste will keep 
you away from doing things that can be disastrous to your 
mental health. 
 
Follow YOUR bliss.
 
8. Nothing ever works the way it is supposed to. It's like 
physics or something. What this means is that when things 
don't work out for you, (which happens to everyone on a
regular basis) you shouldn't attach too much importance 
to the event.
 
It is the very randomness of our universe that guarantees 
that bad things will happen from time to time. It is almost 
always a terrible idea to make big decisions based on one
event... so don't. 
 
We all have issues. Deal.
 
9. Always remember to breathe. You would be surprised at 
how many bad decisions you will make while holding your 
breath. A good deep breath can save you money, save jobs, 
save relationships ... and keep you alive. It's this last
thing that I attach a lot of importance to. Almost no one 
becomes a star after they're dead. Okay, some painters ... 
but they don't get to spend the money.
 
As you have already learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger - 
repetition is the mother of fitness. Keep repeating these 
exercises and you will prevail. 
 
Just do it.
 
*      *     *     *     *      *     *     *
 
Bob's an actor, writer, director, producer and show-runner.
 
He's also the author of CUE - The Professional Actors Guide, 
The Audition Project, Headshot Secrets, The Agent Code, 
Action - The Acting Career System, and An Actor Works - 
12 hour acting career workshop on video.









I hope you enjoyed the links.  Enjoyed my blog.  See you back here next week!  I will get back to my normal weekly goals and updates.  



with LOVE, 

Alex