Television, here I come! Week 9. 'Oscar and Me'

Oh the Oscar's...

I enjoyed it very much.  It's been some years since I last watched it.  I've been avoiding it (my version of throwing a fit) because I think I was....uh, jealous.  Hahaha..silly, right?  I can honestly say I was jealous that I couldn't be there..and because I didn't know how else to express it, I acted like I could care less about it..."Who cares about an award?", "Who cares about who's wearing what?", "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care."   Can you imagine me with my arms crossed, lips out, and kicking my legs?  

Truth be told...I cared too much.  I care very much.  The Oscar's.  I'm not gonna lie, if there is one defining moment in my career, it would be to win an Oscar.  Yes, I want one.  I've always wanted one.

I have a funny, but cute story....

I was in high school.  I got up like I usually do and started getting ready for school.  It was a nice Spring morning in Brooklyn.  I jumped out of bed (dragged myself out of bed), threw on the radio (Z100) and went to take a shower.  I had a routine...shower, hair, make-up, and then get dressed.  I sat down in front of my long mirror, blow drying my hair, and singing along to whatever song was on.  With my hair flying all over the place, I could barely see my face so I had my eyes closed...then it hit me...a daydream.  Daydreams get me at any given time and when it does, I'm a goner.  I get so sucked into it.  I was all of sudden going to the Oscar's.......as a nominee.  Cut to, they're about to announce the winner....guess who won.  Yup, me.  With my blow dryer, I mean my Oscar in my hand, I gave the most powerful acceptance speech...so powerful that it felt so real, so real that I started crying. 
I got up and held the Oscar tightly and thanked everyone I could remember.  My parents, God, my friends, my family, my director, etc....you know the drill.  Who knows how long I was in this trance. 

Next thing I know, my mom was standing a couple of feet away from me ready to shake me out of it.  She looked scared.  "What the hell is wrong with you?  Why are you crying?"  Oh my gosh, I was so embarassed.  What could I tell her?  That humiliation quickly turned into anger and I yelled at her.  "Why don't you knock?!  Get out!"  Apparently, she knocked a couple of times, I just didn't hear her...remember, the radio and blow dryer were on. 

I haven't thought about this in such a long time and as I write and reminisce, I can't stop cracking up right now.  I remember being so mad at my mom for intruding and catching me in such a vulnerable moment but, now, I'm glad we shared that together.  I think I will bring it up in our next conversation.  Who knew that girl in Brooklyn would eventually end up in Hollywood.  I feel extremely blessed.  I did it.  I'm another step closer to my dream.  I'm here, I'm doing it. 

So, watching the Oscar's last night, cemented my love for what I do.  The camaraderie, the history, the nerves, the dreams, the joy, the dresses, the hair, the make-up, the show, the love, the passion, everything choked me up.  Having pursued acting for 6 years now, I know how much you have to love this to stay in it.  And when you get love and support from others, it makes the journey that much easier and bearable.  I read one time Sandra Oh said, and don't quote me on this..."Pursue acting only if it pains you not to."  I know this.  I feel this.  This isn't your typical nine to five job...this is about learning about yourself, in the most honest way possible, loving yourself in the most complete way possible, and believing in yourself in the most fearless way possible.  Yes, you don't 'need' the recognition but, if you got an award for all the hard work you put in, wouldn't it bring you to your knees??  I was so happy for each winner and nominees.  All well-deserved.

Regardless, you win or not, you're a part of something bigger.  Bigger than you.  You come together with fellow filmmakers...it doesn't get better than that.  I can only hope to join them soon.  So, I will continue writing my future acceptance speech.  I will continue daydreaming about  it (it's become more detailed now).  I will continue feeling the gratitude I will feel on that day.  Oh, I can't wait!

So, have you written your acceptance speech?  You should.  And I hope to see you there one day.  Let's walk the red carpet together, throw high fives at one another, share tears of joy together, and thank one another.  :*)



Last Week's Goal:  Mail outs.

Update:  Done.

This Week's Goal:  I'm just going to relax and be patient.  I do daily self submissions so that's good enough for this week.  I just want to hang out with friends and work-out.  Plus, I'm getting ready for a big trip...I'm going to Korea for a month!  So, there's much to do.  I'm living life.

Oh yeah!  I got a new hairdo.  Got it straightened...Bye bye curls!
Here's some pics.  I love my hair.  :)

Enjoy your week.


with LOVE,

Alex

Television, here I come! Week 8. 'Feeling Healing'

                                                                 Click West Photo

I feel brand spankin NEW.

God/Universe is working miracles in my life.  If my life is a play, I'm entering a new act...a new tone...a NEW..............ANEW.

And to align my work with my life, I changed the name of my blog....did you notice it???  It's now called 'The Diary of The THRIVING Actress'.  I am no longer climbing...I am thriving.  I'm a big believer in living as though you are or you have it already......I'm owning it.  Now, let the manifest begin.  :)

Yesterday was a perfect example....guess what happened yesterday?!  I got Taft-Hartleyed!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you to my wonderful friend Adam Ward.  Adam and I met last year on a feature film and stayed in touch.  He called me early this year...literally right after I posted a blog post about my being non-union and how I wasn't going to let that get me down or get in my way.   He's writing, producing, directing, and starring in a webisode and asked if I can play a part in it and they'll Taft-Hartley me.  Crazy huh?  No, that's the kind of magic that happens to me all the time now.  I met amazing people on set yesterday and it was such a blast.  I'll keep you posted on its development.
Thank you again Adam....I hope to return the favor to you one day.  This means alot to me.  :*)

Acting isn't just a career to me.  This is my dream.  And I'm realizing how profoundly my physical life, emotional life, mental life, and spiritual life is linked to my dream.  And by making this a priority, taking care of me, my career will find a place in this world and do great things.  So I'm healing myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I'm healing.  I'm learning.  I'm accepting.  I'm asking.  I'm forgiving.  I'm allowing.  I'm welcoming.  I'm reading.  I'm dreaming.  I'm doing.  I'm breathing.  I'm listening.  I'm crying. I'm laughing.  I'm loving.   I'm feeling.  I'm dancing.  I'm singing.  I'm living.

I'm living.  I'm living so I can be a better actress.  A better artist.  A better storyteller.  I have a wonderful life and career ahead of me.  I'm here for a reason.  I want to discover it.  I want to be it.  And I can.  I just have some work to do but, it'll be a piece of cake as I align myself with my purpose, my God, my Universe, my Source.  I'm on my way. 

And to honor all these changes in me, I'll be getting a new hairdo.  Yep.  I've been hiding behind these curls...it's a perm after all.  I had this limiting belief that my hair was getting me all the jobs..."Oh, here's an Asian girl with curls, let's cast her!".....and I've been afraid to change it because I wanted to continue booking work.  I guess I'm not afraid anymore.  I booked those jobs because of me, not my hair.  And because I'm changing as a person, as an artist, I want to stay true to that.  Change is good.  So what, I'll have to get new headshots.  Big deal.  I want to live my life and let the career happen and not live for my career.  So, stay tuned for my new transformation!  I'll put up a picture on my next blog!  Yay!  :)


Last Week's Goal:  Write cover letters and Breeeeeathe. 

Update:  Done and Done!

This Week's Goal:  Mail those babies out!  I'm going to seal it with a hug and kiss and begin my own ritual before I send out anything into the world, the Universe.  The loving energy I put out, I will get back.



So, how are you doing phyically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually??  Your peace and happiness will translate into everything else you do in this world.  How will you take care of yourself this week?

If you want a good read...I'm almost finished with this book that was loaned to me.  Spiritual Warrior - The Art of Spiritual Living, by John-Roger.  It's pretty friggin great and uplifting.   



Have a soulful week.


with LOVE,

Alex

Television, here I come! Week 7. 'Happy Valentine's Day'

Happy Valentine's Day to you and your loved ones. 



Relationships.

Cultivating relationships comes with the territory in this business.  All relationships take time and commitment.  But, have I been committed to the most important person in my life??  Me?

I'm not only an actress, but a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a cousin, an aunt, a mommy (to my doggie Bells), a client, a student, a product, a consumer, etc.  Relationships.  And of course the perfectionist in me wants to be the perfect "______" to, and for everyone.  But, what about to myself?  How much time and commitment do I dedicate to myself?

I recently started seeing a Kinesiologist to help get my body and mind back on track, the natural way.  My doctor does muscle testing where my body literally tells him/me the balances or imbalances in me.  Think of it like Science meets Eastern medicine minus anything invasive.  My doctor can also figure out certain energy blocks and clear them because, again, my body tells him (sort of like acupuncture but no pins).  With his help, I'm gradually developing an awareness of my precious body.  Finally, I'm listening.

Because I'm committed to getting healthy, I've been seeing him weekly.  It's going on Week 3 now.  I've changed my diet, which is a lifestyle change and I take herbal supplements three times a day.  I don't miss it.  Also, I'm cleansing my body of toxins (mercury, mold, aluminum)...I'm still eating but, sticking to food that's good for me.  And as you know, any kind of detox takes commitment, and committed I am! 

The last visit, he asked me if he can clear away some things emotionally.  I was a little confused but curious.  I hopped right back on the table.  Do you guys remember one of my posts called 'My Beautiful Monster'?  I wrote about how my being acne prone is probably linked to emotional toxins I was holding in?  You see, writing that post helped me understand it intellectually but living it and believing it can get hard when you're an actress(where your face is your product) and you're frequently breaking out. 

I laid back down on the cushioned table and he said "Put your arm up".  This is how they muscle test.  You hold one arm up and he asks specific questions.  He tries to bring your arm down and all the while you try to resist it.  With each question, my arm stay strong or get weak.  You must stay open and clear-minded through this.  Trust that your body knows better than you and wants to take care of you....just listen to it.

He began asking questions rapidly and a little under his breath..so there's no time to think on my end nor could I clearly hear what he was saying at the time...it's all my body.  "Is the acne hormonal?", "Is it with her career?", "Is it with relationships with family?"  "With friends?", "Is it stress?", "Is it emotional?",  arm got weak.  He asked, "How long?  2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12", arm got weak again.  He asked me how old I was and minus 12 years.  What happened 12 years ago?  Well, I was in high school and who really ever enjoys their high school days, right?  He said, "Alex, your acne isn't hormonal like you think it is, it's more emotional.  You've been holding onto something for about 12 years.  It's ok, let's clear it a bit today."  He told me to repeat after him "I love my face"....I made a face like "oh, come on" but, said, "I love my face",  "I love my skin" - "I love my skin", "I am beautiful" - "I am beautiful".  Oh jeez this was feeling so silly and uncomfortable.  He continued, "I am beautiful inside and out" - "I am beautiful inside and out", "I forgive myself" - "I forgive myself", "I forgive myself for being mean to my face" - "I forgive myself for being mean to my face".  A lump in my throat.  I didn't want to repeat anymore.  He continued, "I forgive myself for not loving my skin and my face" - "I forgive myself for not loving my skin and my face", "I forgive myself for not loving me for the past 12 years" - "I forgive myself for not loving...".  Twelve years, twelve years of anger, hurt and pain shot up my body..starting from stomach, to my chest, my throat, my face, and exploded out of my eyes.  I sat up quickly and sobbed.  I saw bits and pieces of my life twelve years ago...things I buried so deep, were asking for its place in my life now.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was all I could say.  I'm sorry to the little Alex, the young girl, the teenager, the young woman, to me now.  I couldn't even catch my breath but, I kept saying "I'm sorry".

Five minutes passed, which felt like eternity but it felt perfect and wonderful.  I cleaned up my face and got still for a second...I felt like the old me...not the new me, but the old me, the true me.  When I left the office, I couldn't stop giggling.  I had the giggles all by myself...walking to my car, I was giggling, driving in my car, I was giggling.  Oh, thank God for Bluetooth these days.  :)

I forgave myself a little that day.  There's more work to be done but, it's all a process.  But, I started.  I'm beginning to understand TRUE LOVE.  It's gotta start here first.  In me first.  With me first.  Only then can I give the love, be the love that's inside me.  Only then can I give my best to the world...because the world deserves my best.  Everybody in my life, including me, deserves my best

I'm not gonna lie...I'm only human and I need some daily dose of TLC.  And it's completely FREE.  Where do I get mine?  TheDailyLove or TheBraveGirlsClub (sign up for their Daily Truths).   I love these because they help me get my day started.  I now wake up, treat myself to a damn good breakfast and read, watch, or listen to some inspiring things and get to work.

I welcome LOVE into my life.  I welcome relationships into my life.  But, I will work on me for now..and 'allow' for the others to happen as they should.  Happy Valentine's Day Alex.

So, who is your Valentine?  Today is no different from all other days.  But, if you want a reason to start loving, today is the day of LOVE.  So, go love somebody and most importantly, LOVE yourself..because you are worth it.  :)



Last Week's Goal:   Research theatrical agents and make sure my LA Casting, Actors Access, and IMDB are up-to-date.

Update:  Done and DONE.  I was going to research some Theatrical agents but, it's Pilot Season!  They're busy!  So, my new target is managers instead.  I already have my list.  And, all my accounts (LA Casting, Actors Access, and IMDB) are up-to-date.  Holla!

This Week's Goal:  I'm going to write some cover letters.  Simple.  Oh, and BREEEATHE.  :)




Have a love-filled week everyone.


with LOVE LOVE LOVE,
Alex      

 

Television, Here I Come! Week 6. 'Online Marketing'

                                                                     Click West Photo






CAN I GET A DRUM ROLL PLEEEEEASE!!!!

I'm proud to present my very 1st Press Release for a feature film I'm in called 'Terror Bytes'.  Read the article!  Very cool!  Anticipating a Fall 2011 release.  I felt like throwing up when I saw it.  From happiness.  :P

My goal for this past week was to take it easy.  But, a last minute workshop totally threw me off.  But, it's all good.  This was a free workshop that was hosted by Natalia Fedner, "Internet Marketing for Actors:  Take Control of your Career".  Check out her website because she does websites and retouches photos, both at VERY AFFORDABLE prices....and she's really GOOD.  I have 6 photos she's worked on already (she also gives you 2 versions - one for online and one for print - you'll see why, keep reading).  But, here are a few so you can see her skills..

 
So, I'm a pretty active participant when it comes to the various Social Media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, plus I follow Mitch Joel and Seth Godin, my marketing gurus and I keep up with their blogs all the time so I thought, "Yeah, why not, maybe I can learn a thing or two."  Uh, Wrong!  I learned a ton!!!!  Natalia, an actress herself, stays in the loop by interning for casting offices.  She definitely knew what she was talking about.  I walked away so impressed by her and with so much information, I didn't know what to do with myself.  I wanted to write this blog ASAP so I can share all the amazing tips I got from her.  Ready??

She broke it down.  From Headshots --> Websites --> Online Etiquette --> Online Resources for Actors --> Online Rip-Offs --> Interning.
Two hours went by so quickly and I couldn't quite process everything.  But, here's what I got.

*  It's all about ONLINE/ELECTRONIC submissions now.  Hopefully, you have both LA Casting and Actors Access accounts....if you don't, what are you waiting for??  Hmmm??  And because of this, make sure your thumbnail photo is amazing.  Seriously.  THIS IS WHAT GETS YOU IN THE DOOR!  Your actual headshot is just for reference.  I love this tip from her...with your thumbnail, saturate that baby (don't go overboard so you look like you have a crazy tan),  but do it so that you'll 'POP'....and then your actual headshot can be the more natural you.

*  How many photos should you have for each account?  At least 4.  No more than 7 or 8. 

*  Make sure your headshot looks good in Black and White...I don't mean take B & W photos, nor do I mean get them printed in B & W, but CD's will make photocopies so, it should still look like you after the photocopy.

*  You know when photographers tell you to wear bright colors??  And we end up bringing blacks or muted colors??  WEAR BRIGHT COLORS!  Blacks are okay, but, steer clear of muted colors for sure.  It makes a difference...can you imagine scrolling through hundreds to thousands of small photos??  The CD's literally scroll.  Bright shirts will help you be more impactful...especially for commercial shots.  Oh, and NO PATTERNS.

*  Communicate with your photographer.  CD's want to see YOU, not your photographers skills.  You don't have to have fancy photos.  I've been getting extremely great feedback on my new headshots.  Click West Photo.  Plus, tell John I sent you and he'll give you 25% off.  Amazing price.  I get no kick-backs..it's all love.  Thank you John.  :)

*  Submission ratio between LA Casting and Actors Access.  Yes, granted that LA Casting is more for commercials and Actors Access is more for theatrical, but if there is a certain project that's listed on both sites...go with Actors Access.  It's just simple mathematics.  More people use LA Casting than Actors Access so go with the one where you don't have as many competition.  I've been more active on LA Casting and since I want to book television shows this year, Actors Access is my first pick now.

*  Unfortunately, CD's have their favorite agencies, so their clients will be bumped up to the top of the list in submissions.  HOWEVER, did you know that if you add a video you will get bumped up too??  Any video will help you but, of course, don't do a disservice to yourself by adding just any old thing.  CD's will watch and you don't want to negate anything..especially if they clicked on you for a reason.

*  Be honest on your resume.  Whether it's credits or special skills, you don't want to find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.  I heard this from Dylann Brander too.   She said they will check your imdb page and they will test you on your special skills.  Yikes.  Guess what a little birdie told me...Groundlings and Second City offer one FREE class of Improv.  Take it.  Then, at least you can say you do have Improv background and you won't be lying.  Hollaaaa.  :)

*  Websites.  Flash or HTML??  Don't get crazy with it.  The simpler the better.  But, if you really want to use Flash, as Natalia put it, "Use it like salt".  As actors, our focus is to just get the most basic and clean message across.  Also, make sure your website is phone-friendly.  If it doesn't upload fast enough on their phone, eh, moving on.  Time is money in this industry.  Make it easy, not fancy!

*  Website Vernacular:  What do they mean??  Natalia said to think of it like Real Estate.
    Hosting - You renting (GoDaddy.com)
    Domain - Your address (GoDaddy.com)
    Website - Your house

*  Webmail.  Get another email address other than your main.  For security reasons.  When you purchase a domain name through GoDaddy, you get a free one.  Look into it.

*  Links.  Anything that's yours..link them together.  This will help you get bumped up on Google, plus you're easier to find.  For example, just today, I added my Youtube Channel and Personal Blog links to my IMDB page.  Some of my friends and I click on one another's imdb pages so our StarMeter goes up.  My StarMeter is now at a steady 5-digit number, used to be in the 6-7 digits.  (And with all sites, personalize them...if you can, for example, with imdb, you have the option of choosing your vanity URL-www.imdb.me/alexandrachoi).  Keep in mind though you can be "Google-able", Google arranges the order in how they appear by how much traffic there is for a particular site.  And by linking all my sites together, my online presence is stronger and it'll bump each site up.  It's like that saying, "United we stand, divided we fall"...all my different sites are working together now as a team.  To learn a little more, read Dallas Travers's Blog. Super helpful. 

*  How Appropriate is it to use Facebook to contact industry professionals??  Well, everybody's different so you'll have to feel it out with the individual.  Only "friend" someone you've worked with, or had some sort of contact with...at least.  But, if you really want to reach out, just write a nice message first to assess the situation.  Some professionals use Facebook as much as we do...some don't.  Dylann Brander, specifically said she uses it for personal reasons, not professional.  I've had other CD's "friend" me but, they have thousands of friends.  Again, everybody's different.  Use the online platform as your advantage, not disadvantage.  If you're super personal on your facebook page, create another one, like a Fan Page.  Yada yada yada...I'm sure you get what I'm saying.

*  Get IMDBPro. 

*  Interning.  I'm going to look into this myself.  The best place that I know of to find which casting offices are hiring is Alex's Info. 

Phew!  That's all I got!


Last Week's Goal:  Vision Board, Figure out what to do with my Vlogs, Korean Spa.

Update:  Done, Done, and Done.  I started painting my vision board...I'm going to put EVERYTHING I want to manifest on that beautiful board.  :) 

And I know what I'm going to do with my Vlogs!  I've been talking to a few friends about my new idea...they love it.  This makes me so excited.  It makes my soul happy just thinking about it.  I'm writing all the ideas down now.  I'll keep you posted.  :)

Korean Spa, I love you.  Went there twice this week.  I usually hang out there for at least 3-4 hours.  I come out feeling brand spankin new. 

This Week's Goal:  I start a new workshop (4 classes) this week with Michelle Levy, who's with Marci Liroff.  They usually cast features but, they're also working on a half hour Paul Reiser sitcom.  And they're open to Non-Unions. 

Also, I'm researching some Theatrical agents now.  I do believe it's time.  And since I'll be getting Taft-Hartleyed this month, all the more reason!  I'm ready, I'm ready!  So, this week I'm going to pick a few agencies and write a cover letter. 

Then, I'm going to go over my LA Casting and Actors Access accounts.  Make sure all information is up-to-date. 





I love this year already and it's only February.  How many more amazing things can happen??  I still have 10 more months left!  :)

Have you checked your LA Casting and Actors Access accounts lately??  Are you up-to-date?   Photos, video, resume??  Check them this week with me.  Also, if you're also looking for a manager or representation, what do you need??  Headshots?  Cover letter?  Begin it this week.  Starting is the hardest but, you can do it.  Just take care of one thing this week.  :)


I listen to songs on repeat...this week's jam. 



Enjoy your week and have fun!  I am!


with LOVE,

Alex