All Aboard the alEX EXpress!!!

Good morning Monday. Good morning everyone.

I'm shooting the VH-1 Promo with Mario Lopez today!

DemGirlzGotBallz is getting ready for a comeback!

My BLOGS and VLOGS are on schedule and doing very well!

I'm starting a workshop this week with Sherie Hernandez, Assoc. CD for "How I Met Your Mother", "Hot in Cleveland", and "Ex-Mas Carol"!

I'm auditioning regularly!

I'm meeting so many wonderful people!

Good news galore! One more good news...

My manager dropped me.

Yep. He dropped me like I was hot. I woke up one morning last week to find an email in my inbox with the subject "representation". I knew. Or maybe I was hoping.

I've been with my manager since early this year. You may remember my mentioning it in my first blog post. I was just so grateful to him for taking me on as a client. Woweeee....my FIRST manager. This was an exciting time for me. I started to feel more and more like a professional knowing that I had professionals on my side. But, are they really on your side?? After all, business is business.

A couple of months ago is when I began to feel like this wasn't the best match. As much as I liked my manager as a person and friend (I still do), I knew we would eventually have to go our separate ways. Why?? This is the bottom line...I'm not sure if he believed in me like I believe in me.

Yes, granted I'm a difficult one to push for right now. I'm a non-union actress, with limited credits, and no reel. Yes, I am very much aware of the odds that are against me at this stage of my career, but, it's not impossible. I believe in possibilities, I believe in timing, I believe in luck, I believe in hard work, I believe in persistence, I believe in believing, I believe in patience, I believe in intuition, I believe in action, I believe in manifesting. I believe in magic.

I remember when I first started thinking about blogging and vlogging. I told my manager to see what he thought...to my surprise, he wasn't too stoked on the idea. He didn't advise me NOT do it but, he didn't encourage me either. I think that was the first lightbulb moment for me. But, I swept it under my rug because at least I had a manager. Another time, I was tipped on a certain breakdown from a friend who thought I would be awesome for it. She told me to see if my manager can get me an audition. I asked him but, his reply was "I can't babe. You're non-union and you don't have a reel." Okay, fine. I didn't want to put him in a difficult predicament on my account so I let it go...because, at least I had a manager. Then he got me a commercial audition that I felt very uncomfortable about...because they were looking for someone who can read Korean fluently. Now, I can read Korean but, I sound like a 2 year old. So, I told him that I'd rather not but, he advised I should. So, I did. I didn't want to seem ungrateful..nor did I want to decline the first audition he got me. Acting and auditioning was becoming stressful...a sign that something's not right but, again, at least I had a manager.

My manager is a good manager...probably a great manager...just not for me. My heart knew this before he dropped me. And lucky for me, God/Universe took care of the dirty work. I am now free to meet the manager that's meant for me....a manager who sees something special in me, a manager with just as much fire in him/her as I do, a manager who is patient but, has goals for me, a manager who will fight for me, a manager who is practical but also believes in magic, a manager who trusts me and my intuition, a manager who trusts his/her intuition, a manager who will take risks, make me take risks, a manager who will become a friend, part of my heart. I'm putting it out there! I know you're out there!!! :)

Just before I got dropped, my manager wanted me to take new headshots...actually, he was on my ass about it. Right after I got dropped, I scheduled to get new photos taken. Manager or no manager, this train's gonna keep on moving! Jump on or get off but, I ain't stopping!

So, for those of you out there that are in the same boat or train as me...you don't have a manager or theatrical agent...it's alllllll good. Trust and believe. Trust and believe in yourself first. The right people will come into your life without your trying. Think it, feel it, believe it. And just keep doing what you love to do. Just keep moving. Just do your part. You'll get there...I promise. :)

You want to know a little secret?? After the VH-1 audition, I put it into my calendar as if I had booked it already. I blocked that day out in advance. A couple of hours later I found out I was on "AVAIL" and the next day I BOOKED it.

I'm a BIG believer in living your life as if it's all here and now. For example, I want to be a STAR....I am a STAR. I talk like a STAR, I act like a STAR, I dress like a STAR, I eat like a STAR, I sleep like a STAR, I work like a STAR, you get the point. Yes, I still have to fight off those "who the hell do you think you are?" voices but, who am I not to?? So, how do YOU want to talk, act, dress, eat, sleep, work today???

You are the conductor of your choo choo train. People will get on...people will get off. But, who's the one that stays till the end?? The conductor. You have to get to your destination.

Thank you to my EX-manager. Thank you for taking me on, thank you for letting me go. Thinking about our wonderful yet, short-lived relationship on this beautiful rainy day...I wish you all the best!!!!

LOVE,

Alex