"Today". Television, Here I Come....Again! Week 12

Mirror mirror on the wall, what do I enjoy most of all?  Selfies.  I have a new writing spot.  It's my vintage vanity given to me by neighbors Ginger and Myko.  I like looking at myself while writing.  Whatever it takes...whatever it takes.

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....

*  I have a new accountability buddy this month and since we both want to do some casting director workshops, we'll be signing up together.  Keep you posted.



Now on to the main attraction......


Excuses, excuses.

I'm getting tired of it.  One by one.

So I'm buckling down.

I'm going to write myself something.   I have plenty of ideas, it's just a matter of picking one for now, and writing it.

I have web content ideas, I have short ideas, I have feature ideas.  I'm trying to figure out which calls to me the most right now.

I've told a few people in my life.  The cat's out of the bag.  Now I gotta deliver.

I'm scared that I may not be able to follow through.  But, I'm also excited about the challenge.  There's a little excitement in me.  And I have little rituals to nurture and celebrate that excitement.

I want to do this.

I feel like I'm making a declaration.

I will write and create roles for myself.  Roles that are sophisticated, edgy, hilarious, honest, smart, silly, powerful, sad, angry, endearing, familiar, memorable, and raw.  With full of cool dichotomies.  You won't even know what hit you.

I can't wait.

I know I can do this.

I just have to muster up everything in me.

And I want to.  Because I want to see how far I can go.  How magically I can create and live my life.

I can't die without trying.

And not trying could be the death of me.

There are stories in me that want to be told.  And I certainly don't want to audition for the rest of my life.

I want my own production company.  Gotta start somewhere.  Gotta start someday.

Today.

So, I'm putting in the work.

I'm putting in a minimum of 1 hour every day to it.  I'm trying to do 2 but, we'll see.


Steven Pressfield, The War Of Art

"The most important thing about art is to work.  Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying."

"This is the other secret that real artists know and wannabe writers don't.  When we sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us.  The Muse takes notes of our dedication.  She approves.  We have earned favor in her sight.  When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attracts iron filings.  Ideas come.  Insights accrete."




I'm curious to see what my 2014 journey will look like.  



Start something today.  You'll be glad you did.


Here's to another THRIVING week, peeps.  Hour by hour, day by day, week by week.  





with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

"Who Wants To Become A Millionaire?" Television, Here I Come....Again! Week 11.

Wanted to chop my hair off but, I worked hard to get it long.  So just decided to get slight side-swept bangs.  Feelin like a million bucks.  :D

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....

*  Here's the Indiegogo link to 'Commodity' again, if you'd like to contribute.  I'm grateful to be a part of the project.  It's gonna be sooooo good.
http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/commodity-feature-film



Now on to the main attraction.....

I just finished The Instant Millionaire.  I was just on Amazon getting a little something and saw this.  Ordered it.  Got it in the mail early this week.

OMG.  Revelatory.

Guys, I'm gonna be a millionaire soon.  !!!!!!!!!

I have always had an okay relationship with money.  Now, I want to have a great relationship with it.  I know what it feels like to not have money and I don't like it.  I also know what it feels like to have lots of money and I LOVE it.  I want to keep feeling what I love feeling.  Is that so wrong?

I have no shame in saying, "Yes, I want to become famous and make lots and lots and LOTS of money."  What's lots?  I'd like to become a millionaire in 5 years.  I'll start there.  Then, once I get the hang of making lots and lots and lots of money, it'll just keep multiplying.

Making money is a skill.  You can learn that from the book.  But, you'll also learn how to be wealthy, and that takes faith, luck, happiness, self-worth, spirituality, and inner peace.  You'll learn that from the book as well.

The book provides wisdom on so many levels.

And it's told through a sweet and tough-love story between the millionaire and the young man.  I love a good mix of sweet and tough-love, don't you?

We will all relate to the young man.  All our excuses.  All our blocks.  God, there were times where if I could, I just wanted to shake and slap the sh*t out of the young man.  

We may relate to the millionaire.  Bless you.

When they say "you already have everything you need", it's absolutely true.

I hold the key to my destiny.  I used to think this all sounded cheeeeeeeesy.   I know better now.

Once I free myself from limiting thoughts and beliefs, once I MASTER MY OWN MIND............................

OMG...the possibilities are endless.  

It's all about mastering our own minds.  And by this, I don't mean become a taskmaster/drill sergeant with yourself.....be kind and easy too.  

So, how does one go about mastering his/her own mind?  Read the book.  Here's one way, affirmations/incantations/mantras/chanting/meditation..............REPETITION.  Seems too simple, doesn't it?  But, it's not easy at the same time.  Because our minds will tell us that it's too simple to work so we won't even do it.  To become a millionaire, it's gotta be more complex than that!  Yes,.....and no.  

You want to make lots of money?  Be prepared to work but, not the kind of work you're thinking about.  Try repeating something out loud for fifty times morning and night or for twenty minutes straight.  Your mind will go bonkers.  Stay in it.  Focus.  

"As I've said, words are extremely powerful agents.  The stronger your character becomes, the more the words you utter will become genuine decrees.  Everything you affirm, fueled by deep inner conviction and strengthened by the fires of repetition, will take shape more and more quickly.  You have to do the exercise.  Nobody can do it for you.  You must repeat your formula aloud day and night at least fifty times.  And more if you can.  Even a hundred times a day.  This is an exercise in itself.  The first few times I laid down and counted by tapping my fingers on the floor, five times with both hands.  It takes practice.  At first you'll find it won't be easy.  The mind is prone to wander.  After repeating it ten times, you'll start thinking of something else.  Bring your mind back to business and start at zero again until manage to reach fifty, because if you can't stick to such an elementary form of discipline, you'd better give up your dream of becoming rich.  That's the challenge I'm offering you, my young friend.  And I know you can do it.  All you need to do is persist."

And be prepared to do some Self work.  

Again, the book will help with that too.

For the cynics, I'm not saying all you gotta do is just wish hard, and say your affirmations to become rich.  Hell no.  I'm all about doing the work.  Work will come.  But, where to start?  If you don't know where to start, like me....then, start with the book.  And do the work the book suggests.  Let's see what happens. 

The book was and is truly a game-changer and mood-changer for me.

My intention in this life is to live as magically as I can.  I want to see how many times I can say in my lifetime, "Is this really happening?!!  I'm like the luckiest girl in the world!"  Wish the luckiest girl in the world some more luck.

Also, if you give it go, and make your millions....please share.  That's the whole point of the book.  Spread the secret.

I'm wishing financial abundance for you and for myself.  Please keep me posted!!

Have a THRIVING week, peeps!

with MAAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

"Like Water." Television, Here I Come.....Again! Week 9 and 10.

Photo by Cammy Kinney Photography.

This was an impromptu photoshoot that we shot in my backyard.  Creative magic always happen when Cammy and I collaborate.  So sad she's moving to Texas.  I love you and miss you already, friend!  Thank you for my beautiful photo.  More photos to come soon.

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....

*  I'm super stoked to be a part of the project, 'Commodity'.  It was my first booking of 2014.  We shot the promo trailer for its Indiegogo campaign.  It's now live.  Here's the link.  I'd love it if you can donate but, at the very least, please watch the video!  It's so good.  I was blown away.  I feel very honored to be a part of it.  Thank you in advance.

http://igg.me/at/CommodityFeatureFilm



Now on to the main attraction.....

Truth?

I don't feel like doing crap these days.

The movements that are happening in my life right now are making me lazy with work.  Or, I'd like to think of it as, "I'm adjusting to my new world."

I have two huge energies exiting and entering.

My best friend of 4 years is moving back to her hometown in Texas tomorrow.  We've been inseparable since we first met.  Our creative lives, our spiritual lives, and our love lives flourished parallel to one another which allowed for us to learn valuable lessons together.  And boy, did we learn lessons.

We learned how to heal ourselves through our work.

We learned about team work.

We learned about work ethic.

We learned about commitment and integrity with ourselves and with our work.

We learned how to communicate in a healthy way.  How to express our emotions with kindness.  How to receive expressions with kindness.

We learned how to say Thank You even when there's a lump in your throat.

We learned how to say I'm Sorry even when there's a lump in your throat.

We learned how to just listen and not jump in with unsolicited advice.

We learned to how to have compassion for ourselves and each other.

We learned how to not take things personally.

We learned that some boys just suck.

We learned that The One does exist.

We learned that how The Ego really works.

We learned what Self-Love really means.

We learned how to let go.

We learned when to stay and stick it out.

We learned about balance.

We learned how to listen to our own hearts and guts.

Just some things.


Then, I'm dating someone.  No stranger though.  We dated 7 years ago for 6 months.  Didn't even stay friends after that until very recently.  Feels like no time has passed though.  Feels like nothing really changed except we have more lessons under our belts.  He's my other best friend.  Unlike my bestie and I, he and I learned our lessons apart.  And boy, did we learn lessons.

We learned how to communicate in a healthy way.  How to express our emotions with kindness.  How to receive expressions with kindness.  (I'm still learning this one with him.)

We learned how to say Thank You even when there's a lump in your throat.  (More my lesson.)

We learned how to say I'm Sorry even when there's a lump in your throat.  (More my lesson.)

We learned how to just listen and not jump in with unsolicited advice.  (More my lesson.)

We learned to how to have compassion for ourselves and each other.  (More my lesson.)

We learned how to not take things personally.  (Possibly more my lesson.)

We learned how much 'having space' means to the both of us.  It's asking for it and giving it without conditions.

We learned about mutual respect.  (I know for me, it started with self-respect first.)

We learned about unconditional love.  (More my lesson.)

We learned about Self-Love.  (I definitely did.)

We learned about honoring ourselves and each other.  (I'm good about honoring my truth but, listening and honoring the other person's is not easy for me.  Getting there.)

We learned about partnership.  (There are layers to a healthy and grounded relationship....one at a time.  It takes time!)

We learned about our deep connection to a Higher Power.

We learned about our dark sides.  I don't think neither of us have fully embraced it but, it's nice to know that he's not afraid of mine....or grossed out by mine.  

Just some things.



So, with these two great bonds in my life, my bff making her way out and my bf making his way in, to create a new paradigm in my life, there are parts of me and parts of my life that I am saying goodbye to, and then saying hello to new ones.  For example, my guy and I have completely different sleep schedules.  Depending on when we spend time together, it takes a toll on somebody.  I'll compromise, but not without a fight.  I'm finding myself trying to hold on to my old paradigm like a control freak because change is scary.

Life is about changes ....constantly.  And it requires of us to bring flexibility and the ability to adjust well to its movements.  I always picture water when I think of this.  MOVE like water, Alex.  First, there's gotta be movement.  If there's no flow, water can get stagnant, gross, smelly, and toxic.  Second, choose to go downstream.  Why feel like I'm going against the current by trying to go upstream?  In any given moment. we have free will and choice.  Choose to feel good.  Or at least choose to not suffer.

So, I'm grieving and celebrating these changes in my life in a weird way.

I'm curious to see what emerges, who emerges.  All I know is, I hope to become more bad ass.




P.S.  I'm still feeling extremely lazy.  Getting my ass motivated to do any kind of work is a chore for me right now.  I just want to remain in my fantasy bubble and not have to worry about paying bills, booking jobs, coming up with new video blog ideas, emailing people back, keeping up with my social media accounts, signing up for casting director workshops, researching for new head shot photographers, returning phone calls and/or text messages, bathing my dog, eating (sometimes), sleeping, taking showers, putting on makeup, breathing....so pretty much anything and everything is exhausting for me right now.  These energy shifts are good excuses to not do sh*t.

P.P.S  I'm cracking up right now.  It feels good to not sugar-coat that I'm not having a very THRIVING moment.  





Anyway, have a THRIVING week, peeps!


with MAAAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex