Dear Diary,
Here's my offering to you this week.....
* Happy Valentine's Day to you! I wish you and your heart lots of LOVE. Listen to each other and take care of each other. I'm a huge advocate for self-love. Because I know and believe that self-love is the beginning. So, on this day of LOVE, go LOVE yourself, will ya?
Now on to the main attraction.....
*** I sat on this post for a week. It's a tough one to post because I felt as though I had no credibility to write about this topic. I was also very afraid to reveal more parts of myself. I'm finally giving myself permission to express myself......without AS MUCH editing. ;)
Artists and addiction.
RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I didn't realize how much this sensitive topic means to me. Until I saw some Facebook posts that frankly, pissed me off.
I feel like I'm on my own personal quest to find the meaning of life, or death, through an artist's eyes. Then over the years, also through an addict's eyes. It's not easy.
In my opinion, the Facebook posts were angry. And judgmental. And ignorant.
First off, addiction is a DISEASE. Just like cancer. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer, "Hey, get your shit together and just stop. You're hurting yourself and your loved ones." Would you?
And if you think I'm the one that's talking out of my ass by comparing addiction to cancer......not my words but, my writing coach who has had Stage 4 breast cancer, multiple times in 6 years.
Addiction takes on many different forms. The most common is drug and alcohol abuse but, there's also negative thinking, love, sex, gambling, eating, not eating, 'healing', watching tv, surfing the web, sugar, coffee, pain, a person, etc... ANYTHING goes.
If you think addiction is something you can turn on and off.....think again.
If you think that if the addict loved his family and friends enough, he/she would get help and stop.....think again.
If you think that it has to do with how mentally strong or weak you are, or your character, or your moral compass....think again.
If you're one of those individuals that have dabbled in drugs and alcohol for a period of time and just quit cold turkey because, "you got your head on straight", or "you grew out of it", or "you started prioritizing", or whatever your freaking reason may be.....news flash, you were probably self-medicating, not addicted. There's a difference.
So, please "Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror." (Again, my writing coach says this to me all the time. I can be one judgmental sommabitch. :D).
If you're getting angry with 'users', ask yourself WHY.
And this a two way street. I'm asking myself why I'm getting pissed too.
I used to have a whole lot of judgment towards people who would abuse anything. I remember when I worked for Emporio Armani in NY before moving out here. I was a college student. I remember overhearing two of my co-workers chatting on the sales floor. Anthony was talking. He was very loud. He was also very animated and the comic relief in our store. Everybody loved Anthony. So I overhear Anthony saying he smokes a joint every night before going to bed. That stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned to him and said, "Anthony, you really smoke a joint EVERY SINGLE NIGHT?" He said, "Yes, girl....I need it." All I remember was walking away and thinking, "Wow, I didn't know Anthony was such a loser."
Who knew that a few years later, I would find myself not only smoking a joint every night but, waking and baking, and smoking at least 3 joints right before bedtime just to 'get the edge off' and knock me out.
Never say never and never think you're above anyone. Addiction doesn't discriminate.
And of course because I thought Anthony was a loser for smoking ONE joint a night, naturally, I thought 12 steps were a gathering for losers and the crazies.
I have attended some meetings. Very reluctantly. Alanon and AA. Alanon didn't hit home with me. But, AA...different story. There were two things going on in me.
1. I didn't want to believe that I was 'one of them'. I can't be an addict. I am the most strong-willed person I know. I'm Korean. Koreans don't have addictions. I was also raised a Christian. Christians don't have addictions either. So, I'm really not suppose to have any addiction. I'm probably just going through something and I'll get over this when I start booking a lot of jobs, or when I meet the love of my life.
2. No one's going to take me seriously because pot isn't suppose to be addictive. It's embarrassing to tell me people I'm addicted to pot when others are addicted to hardcore drugs.
I thought I wasn't one of them, and I also thought I wasn't good enough to be with them. As I sat there listening to their stories one by one, I couldn't stop crying. I was them, and they were me.
My first (subtle) wake up call.....although there was no call to action. The first time I watched the show Intervention and saw a heroin addict passing out in the middle of his interview, my heart broke into pieces but, I ignored it.
Few years later, I decided to move in with a roommate. I lived alone for a long time because I was ashamed and didn't want anyone to see how dark I can be. Since then, she has seen all my ups and downs. She has seen me at my worst. I was always worried that she would say something to me like, "Wow, when you said you smoked, I didn't realize how much!" But, she never did. Except once. When I passed out in the middle of our conversation. We were standing in the kitchen, I was raiding our snack cabinet, she's talking, I'm listening (barely), and I just rested my face on the counter and passed out for a bit. The next day she said I reminded her of a heroin addict. The memory of that guy on Intervention came back. It was getting out of control. Scary, right?
Not really. That's normal for me. A hit will only cause an insatiable desire for a high that never comes. So instead, you settle for 'just knock me the f*ck out at least' kind of high. All or nothing. (And you thought addicts couldn't commit). There's no relief until it can make you pass out. The whole point is to numb it out that much....til you pass out... Because maybe then you can sleep, and the nagging in your head and body would stop for a little bit. But, you can't sleep without it. And the more you do it, the more you want/need more (vicious cycle), and won't let you sleep because of it. The voices in your head are too real. They say real sh*t and you don't want to listen because then you might want to actually do something about it. Change is scary. Your body actually hurts from hangovers (yes, there is such a thing as weed hangovers). Emotionally you're at such a low that you want to but, don't give a crap about anything. You feel like a horrible mom when you look at your dog and you promised her hours ago that you'd take her out. Time is annoying...because it just keeps moving forward and you feel like you're not. You feel like you're doing your best. But, it doesn't feel good enough. You don't feel like talking to anybody because you don't want to put on an 'act' like you're fine and if you don't, then they'll ask you and you don't even have the energy in you to talk about ALLLLLLL the sh*t that's going on in your head and heart. Because everything's connected and in order for this one thing to make sense, you have to understand this part and this part and this part...oh and then there's this part. There's not enough time or ears for that. Nobody gets you. So, you feel even more alone.
I wonder if that was normal for Philip Seymour Hoffman. I'm sure he knew he was gambling with his life. I'm sure he thought about his family every time he shot up. I'm sure he felt horrible about it. I'm sure he knew he was jeopardizing a lot. I'm sure he wanted to stop. What if it was necessary (for him) to take more because that's what it took to stay alive? The irony is tragic, I know. Even though it doesn't feel like living, he wanted to stay alive for his family and his work. I know it's a different way to see this and maybe I'm trying to justify my own behavior...who the hell knows.
All I know is, if you replaced my pot with heroin, I would be long gone by now.
I'm not condoning addiction and I'm not asking you to accept it. It's a disease and in order to live a healthy lifestyle, it's gotta be treated, if not cured. And yes, it is a private and silent disease for some so the person with the addiction has to step forward to seek help, but it's not easy.
I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm asking you to be an enabler in any way either. Far from it. I'm asking for compassion. Compassion for others and for yourself.
Having compassion doesn't mean you're enabling. Enabling doesn't come from love. Enabling comes from fear. Compassion comes from love. And LOVE doesn't make you suffer. If you're suffering, then do what's necessary for you to not suffer any longer. Take care of yourself. Don't suffer for the sake of someone else and don't make someone else the reason/excuse for your happiness or unhappiness.
Artists are gamblers by nature, maybe. Like addicts. All or nothing. It's a huge risk to go into the arts as a profession. And it's a huge risk to be willing to experience the human nature and human condition and come back unscathed. Whether dead or alive, there will be battle scars. And we still choose to go. Hats off to you, artists.
Art is interesting. You have to live it but, you have to let it live you too. It's sort of a Catch-22. And when that happens, there's a chance you will never be the same. And some really brave ones will go....to the deep dark places where most don't dare to go. Philip Seymour Hoffman went there. That's why everyone's so sad about his death. Somehow, he went to hell and brought back pieces of Heaven with him. That's what artists do. We go to hell and bring back Heaven with us. Our missing him is our acknowledging his courage. His work was real. His work was authentic. Human nature is beautiful but, it's also got an ugly and dangerous side.
I'm not saying if you want to authentically play a drug addict then go out and do drugs. This is where your skills and training, and a great coach comes in. We've all had trauma and pain in our lives. Pain is pain. Use YOUR pain.
Sometimes I think I manifested my disease because I never believed my pain was valid. I've had it easier than some...maybe most. I felt guilty for having pain. "Who am I to talk about pain? I don't really know pain. I don't deserve to complain about anything". Well, I changed that quick. My pain is absolutely valid. And it's real. And I wrote letters to those I felt did me wrong. I never sent it but, I wrote it like I was going to. This was something I worked on with my life coach. I let some past toxic emotions go and it actually helped me become a better actress. Since accepting my pain, of course now I can use it. I can cry at the drop of a hat, you know, and make you cry with me. Or laugh. Don't plaaaaayyyyy.
Artists see humanity for what it is. Even the parts of humanity that isn't so pretty. Because we see how human we are. Blessing and a curse. It's your choice.
I'm learning to nurture the alchemist in me. The all or nothing can be detrimental but, how can it be of service to me? When I commit, I commit. All or nothing = Commitment
Let's face it. We're sensitive creatures. And we live in a society that promotes instant gratification. Maybe we rely on our addiction(s) to give us that instant gratification because our life is full of uncertainties. But, in hindsight, would you really have wanted to know how everything would go down ahead of time? Isn't life so much more magical, poetic, synchronistic, because we just don't know yet? Or maybe we do. Deep down somewhere in our Soul. If we listen carefully enough....we already know everything. I think we'll know when we know but, until then, it's about living in awe and wonder of life's twists and turns.
I'd like to introduce something new into my consciousness. A paradigm shift, perhaps? Yes, early on in this post I wrote that addiction isn't something you can turn on or off. I'm gonna take that back. What if....just what if....it IS something we CAN turn on and off? I'd like to be open to that possibility. I believe our minds are powerful beyond what we know and think we know, I believe in magic, and because I believe I'm a unicorn.........What if we CAN just turn it off? What would that feel like? Seriously, WHAT WOULD THAT FEEL LIKE? Holy crap. Excuse me while I have a paradigm shift.
You know what, there were some posts that were very compassionate. And others curious. From a Soul that's learning and growing from this path of resistance, thank you.
Here are two separate reads for you. They really hit home with me.
First one is by one of my fave authors and friend,
Steven Pressfield. And the second one is a
blog by Debbie Bayer. Thank you to my friend Heidi Rhodes for posting this on Facebook. I was meant to read it.
Enjoy the reads. Till next week, wishing you a THRIVING week, peeps!
with MAAAAD LOVE,
x Alex
By STEVEN PRESSFIELD | Published: MAY 18, 2011
The artist and the addict are not very far apart, are they? Often they’re one and the same. A blues musician or a painter can be an addict one minute and an artist the next. He can be an artist and an addict at the same time. On Tuesday you’re rocking the casbah; on Wednesday you’re checking in to Betty Ford. Why is that?
“It may be the devil or it may be the Lord,
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”
If Bob Dylan is right in Gotta Serve Somebody (and I think he is), we all do have to pick our masters. The question is whom.
The artist and the addict (or the artist/addict) both face the same dilemma each morning. Will they serve their higher nature or their lower? Between the two stands Resistance. Like gravity, Resistance exerts a pull back to earth. Its object is inertia. Resistance doesn’t want you to do something evil. It wants you to donothing.
Resistance wants you to go back to sleep, meaning remain unconscious. Resistance is always selling the easy way, the shortcut, the cheap shot. Resistance urges the artist/addict to slack off from, to sidestep, to avoid, to run away from, to not do. It wants you and me to stay shallow, to remain superficial, to continue unfocussed and uncommitted; to accept mediocrity, to avoid pain, to back away from the fight.
The addictive substance is Resistance’s ally. The addictive substance wants the same thing Resistance does. The addictive substance is the free ride to unconsciousness and to surcease from pain.
We’re all human, and the human condition hurts. How do we make that pain go away? How do we get to that place where we can set down our burden, close our eyes, draw an easy breath?
I’m no expert; I could be wrong. But it seems to me that the road turns two ways. If you serve the devil, the ride is free. Serve the Lord and you have to work.
The thing about the Muse is, when she gifts you with inspiration—the idea for a new album, a ballet, the impetus for an act of love or commitment—she dumps the job in your lap and says, “Jane, take over.” The Muse doesn’t do the work for you. She can’t; she’s not here in this material dimension.
You and I are the only ones here. We have to work. That’s the sign. That’s how we know the inspiration is real.
But to say we have to work is only half of it. Not only do we have to work, but we have to perform that work in the teeth of fear, isolation, self-doubt and self-sabotage. Often we have to labor in the face of opposition—fierce opposition—from the people closest to us, who love us the most and whom we love and whose approval we seek. We have to fight our bosses, our mentors, our religions, our pasts and our beliefs about ourselves and what we’re capable of.
The addictive substance is different. When we take that airline, we fly for free. Not only is no work required (other than the labor of acquiring the addictive substance itself), but there’s no imperative to wake up or to elevate our consciousness. On the contrary, the payoff is lack of consciousness. Oblivion is quick, visceral and gratifying. The pain goes away.
We’ve all done it. We can be addicted to crack cocaine or Haagen-Dazs, to love or hate, to our husband, our cause, ourselves. It all works. It’s all easy.
The addict and the artist are both struggling to emancipate themselves from the tyranny of the ego. The petty, piss-ant ego that devalues and undercuts and holds us earthbound. The addict gets off one way, the artist another. The addict/artist yo-yo’s back and forth. When she’s an artist (or reaching by any means toward her higher self) she somehow finds the courage to take the slow, hard, unglamorous path. When she’s an addict she grabs the EZ-Pass.
We all bounce from one form of service to the other, don’t we? I know I do. And none of us is really fooling himself. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but we all know which master we’re in servitude to—and we can’t hide from the knowledge that no one has made the choice but us.
Blog by Debbie Bayer.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman 1967-2014
In the wake of the tragic loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a great artist, partner, father, brother, and son, I offer the following facts about the neurological disease of addiction.
The overwhelming majority of adults in the western world have passed through experimental stages in their lives where they have dabbled with some kind of brain altering addictive substance, i.e., cigarettes, alcohol, prescriptionpain killers, ADHD medication, anti-anxiety medication, and yes, even marijuana (save the ‘it’s not addictive” arguments for later, please). And the overwhelming majority of these adults will emerge from their experiments unscathed, believing that their free will and good choices are what saved them from becoming addicted.
The problem with this thinking is that it is factually incorrect. In other words, they are all wrong.
What saved them (you) from becoming addicted is that their brains did not respond in the same way that an addict’s brain does. They were born with a resistance to addiction. Their free will and good choices had nothing to do with it.
It is time for all of us who got through unscathed to stop patting ourselves on the back for our genetic good luck, and it is time to stop judging those who were not born with the same good genes as defective.
About Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a relapsing drug addict, you may have had the thoughts, “He knew better.” or “Shame on him for throwing his life away.”
Let’s look at these ideas through the lens of how the brain actually works. Yes, he “knew better.” He ‘knew better’ in the frontal lobes of his brain, where we all execute our better judgment and can make calculations of our behaviors and circumstances based on risk and reward.
Here’s the problem, the activity of our frontal lobes can be shut down by the other parts of our brain when there is significant stress in our body. This comes from what is called the “fight, flight, freeze, or faint” mechanism.
This mechanism in the brain is hard-wired into each of us for survival purposes. It is the part of the brain that puts someone into shock when they have been injured and/or traumatized. It is also the part of the brain that can allow a person to lift a car by themselves if their loved one or someone they care about is in danger.
The brain does not analyze the type of stress it is experiencing, that is, this ‘fight or flight mechanism’ is binary. It functions on a “yes” or “no” basis. ”Yes,” there is enough stress to activate the mechanism or “no,” there is not enough stress to activate the mechanism. Human beings have no control over when this mechanism is activated.
This is how PTSD works. Seemingly innocuous sights, sounds, smells or sensations trigger this brain mechanism even when there is no actual threat to the person. The stress in the body is not even consciously recognizable to the person with PTSD. The brain reacts to the trigger and the person is put into the experience of being threatened without choice or control because the frontal lobes cannot get their signals through. When this mechanism is activated free will and choice become impossible. This is true for each and every human being on the planet, whether we like it or not.
The brain of an addict, Phillip Seymour Hoffman in this case, experiences withdrawal symptoms as stress. And since it operates on a binary system, it doesnot sort out “good” stress (I’m so sick because I’m kicking heroin-good for me!) from “bad” stress (I’m so sick because I’m kicking heroin I’d better call a doctor). The brain only knows if the stress is present or not and how much stress is present.
When withdrawal symptoms, i.e., physical distress, anxiety caused by emotional stress, etc. reach a certain point in the brain, the brain automatically cuts off the access to the frontal lobes (in a manner of speaking) and begins to direct the body rebalance the stress, to find equilibrium, so that the brain can return to “normal” functioning.
“Normal” functioning to the brain of an addict is defined as having the addictive substance in the body. So while any relapsing addict “knows better,” the addict literally cannot access the part of his brain where his/her better judgment is stored. The addict loses his choice and free will and is at the mercy of his brain which is in extreme stress and working to regain it’s equilibrium, at any cost, i.e., get more of the addictive substance.
The idea of losing choice, of relinquishing free will, is unthinkable to most of us, especially those of us fortunate enough to live in the U.S. where we have so many choices in so many areas of our lives. Also, human consciousness defends heavily against the possibility of ‘no choice’ which is paradoxical considering we each carry a brain mechanism that removes choice, but I digress.
Suffice it to say that according to our brain physiology, choice and no choice are equally important to the survival of the species. The problem is that we humans are only conscious of the importance of choice (and the free will to make those choices).
Over the centuries, mankind has had tremendous difficulty acknowledging and treating brain disorders of all kinds. And we haven’t made much progress in our supposed “enlightened” age of civil rights either. Consider this, it was less than 50 years ago that 90+% of those born with Down’s syndrome were institutionalized for life. Also, in spite of (or maybe because of?) a tremendous increase in the diagnoses of brain disorders in the last 40 years, all but a small percentage of treatment centers and publicly funded programs for treatment have been permanently shut down.
What we have on our hands in the U.S. is a mental health, i.e., brain health, crisis. This is abundantly clear to us every time someone with a serious brain disorder buys an assault rifle. Actually, those instances are but the tip of a gigantic iceberg. And even though we have had great breakthroughs in neuroscience, we are woefully lagging behind in treating people who suffer and offering support to their families.
How did this happen? There are more than a few ways to answer that question. One of the important answers is that we are naturally defensive against the idea that brain disorders which disconnect us from our free will exist. It’s too frightening an idea to consider, so we come up with stories.
A century or more ago our stories revolved around the idea that the person suffering was possessed by demons, and that these demons ran in the family. Perhaps the person’s mother was possessed? May she was a witch? Someone in that family must have sinned and now they are being punished, etc.
It was stories like these that ran so strongly through our cultures that families up until, well now, actually hid loved ones away in mental institutions and even disavowed knowledge or connection to them in order to avoid the stigma that would be placed on the healthy family members also.
We have made some progress, but as Mr. Hoffman’s death painfully points out, not nearly enough. We seem to have compassion and some amount of treatment and support available for those who have schizophrenia, psychosis, delusional disorder, autism, and Downs syndrome. (It’s not nearly enough treatment and support and the families and loved ones of those with these disorders suffer an enormous amount financially, emotionally, and physically with the burden of lifetime care of those who live with these challenges.)
Outside of these few of the many neurological disorders that exist we lose all compassion and concern for people and their families who are suffering, and we tell a modern day version of the demon possession story about them.
We continue to isolate and reject people suffering from a physiological disorder of the brain and force their families and loved ones to bear the lifetime burden of their care in shame and silence, in 2014, in the wealthiest nation the planet has ever known.
Our stories about these people who look so normal, so successful, on the outside but whose lives come crumbling down upon them or are cut ridiculously short no longer revolve around possession by evil spirits but by a defect in their character (selfish, lazy, greedy, arrogant, gluttonous, apathetic, hedonistic, etc.), a defect in their temperament (evil, violent, narcissistic, vain, eccentric, etc.) or a defect in their judgement or intelligence (immature, moron, idiot, being an a**hole).
In the absence of knowledge about how the brain functions these stories created theories about the causes of these behaviors (moral corruption, low character) and consequences which mirrored our cultural value system (it’s their own fault, they got what they deserved). Out of our stories came ideas on how to avoid these behaviors (work hard, believe in God, be kind to others), consequences of these behaviors (why goes around comes around, God helps those who help themselves) and systems of support to uphold the implementation of these ideas (church, 12 step, therapy). Sometimes the theories, ideas for correction and the support systems even work, but sadly, not most of the time.
All of the above stories/theories are normal individual and cultural adaptations to the unexplainable. This is how we humans learn and grow. Gratefully, these days few if any people think a person with a phobia has had a spell cast upon him by a witch and now needs an exorcism while the family and neighbors have to find and lynch the witch.
Neither is a person with an addiction suffering from poor character, temperament, or judgment from which he can be cured with hard work, belief in God, attendance at church, 12 step and therapy. (Hang in there, recovered and recovering 12 steppers. I’m on your side. See ** below.)
What we fail to see is a) how self-serving these old stories are, and b) how ineffective our current treatment modalities are (see #a). Our theories about addiction don’t really exist to explain the illogical behavior of someone who is suffering, but mostly to separate ourselves from that behavior with the assurance that what has happened to that “loser” won’t happen to us. And when the need to distance ourselves from that “loser” is satisfied we don’t bother to fact check our theories. Nor to we bother to notice if the treatment schemas we’ve created even work (they don’t). Rather good proof that our theories are self-serving, don’t you think?
We also fail to notice the fear and sadness that comes up for us when we hear of the tragedies that befall those with high-functioning neurological disorders, especially now. It’s 2014 and tragedies like the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman have been happening steadily for 40+ years, with no end and no answer in sight. In light of this kind of repetitive hopelessness we are left with little choice but to blame the victims in order to soothe ourselves. And it is difficult, if not impossible to create solutions in the presence of hopelessness.
The mental health/brain disorder crisis we are facing right now, this decades-long epidemic, is with the so-called high-functioning neurological disorders, i.e., depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ocd, anorexia, bulimia, and addiction (I have left out more than a few of the disorders, but these are the most familiar of the lot).
However, neuroscience is offering us the best reason to hope for good treatment outcomes in decades. The more we learn about how the brain works (like when the fight/flight mechanism is activated) and how it works when it is “broken” (fight/flight mechanism too easily triggered in addicts) the easier it will be for people who have these brain glitches to be identified and treated without shame and blame.
The first, most effective way to face our cultural crises of too many people with brain disorders being undiagnosed and untreated is to educate ourselves about these disorders and learn to spot the people who are suffering so that we can help them understand what is wrong with them and help them to agree to receive treatment. We have to change our cultural view of addiction and the like before we can create more effective treatments for it and the other high-functioning neural disorders.
The change has to come from those of us who either do not have the disorders or have been successfully treated for the disorders because those with the disorders are not able to help themselves.
I like to say it this way, the last person to know that his brain is broken is the person with the broken brain.
This is just the way human consciousness works. The only organ in the body that seems to make self-diagnosis impossible is the brain. I mean there is no mistaking a kidney stone trying to pass. When someone is in that kind of pain they don’t blame it on their lack of character. But the brain is expert at being able to reframe and explain away its own glitches.
Whatever isn’t working in a person’s brain is that person’s “normal.” Over time people with high-functioning neurological disorders develop plausible explanations for their symptoms and adapt to them as best as they can.
And when life problems that are obviously (to those around them) connected to their neurological disorders become apparent on the outside of their lives (car accidents, drained bank accounts, lost jobs, broken marriages, etc.) they usually blame their own character defects or someone or something else. Therefore, the person with the problem is the least likely to be able to get themselves the help they need.
The way to begin to help people like Phillip Seymour Hoffman (deceased-drug addiction), actor Cory Monteith (deceased-drug addiction), singer Amy Winehouse (deceased-alcoholism), author David Foster Wallace (deceased-depression),actor Jon Hamm (depression), TV personality Nicole Richie (anorexia), actress Karla Alvarez (deceased-anorexia/bulimia), actress Amanda Byne (bi-polar disorder), actor Howie Mandel (ocd) , reality TV star Vinnie Guadagnino (anxiety disorder), actress Brooke Shields (postpartum depression) is to become educated about the physiological causes of these disorders so that when you see the behaviors in friends and loved ones you can begin to educate and support them.
Here is where the education begins, when otherwise high functioning people think and act in ways that defy facts and logic and threaten their well-being and the well-being of their loved ones, then we need to understand that they have a brain disorder, not a moral or character disorder; and they need medical treatment, not shaming, blaming, therapy or a sentence to a 12 step program.
This means that alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, suicide attempts, phobias, adhd, anxiety and depression, et al are all disorders of the brain and as such need the treatment of a medical doctor first.
(Read that again. It’s a truth, not a theory. But since the truth is not widely known it will seem counter intuitive. You will want to say, “Yeah, but…..” Read it again. Alcoholism is a brain disorder. Drug addiction is a brain disorder. Let it sink in.)
Here’s why this is true–otherwise high functioning people could not be high functioning without good judgment, good enough character, and at least average intelligence. If they can hold down a job, go about the activities of daily living, have friendships and loved ones, and display empathy towards others before and during their lapses, melt downs, relapses, et al., then their frontal lobes are fully functioning.
The only explanation, for their behaviors then, is that their frontal lobes (where their high-functioning skills are located) have been hijacked by a different part of their brain. When someone’s brain is highjacking their frontal lobes, they need medical treatment.
Blessedly, neuroscience is catching up with us and giving us facts about how our brains actually work. So it is time NOW to drop those stories we have made up and begin to apply the facts of neuroscience as we understand them to the untimely deaths of addicts of all kinds and to the public meltdowns of otherwise functioning adults.
And it is way past time that we spread the word about what is really going on with these people who struggle mightily and their families who bear the burden of loving them and having to care for them.
Remember, these people don’t know that their brains are broken. They are high-functioning and so they blame themselves. And they come to hate themselves for their problems more than you can imagine. They live in a dark and self-loathing world where they come to believe that they don’t deserve any help which is why they don’t surrender themselves for treatment. They need the help of their friends and families and the world around them in order to get around the obstacles of their broken brains to get help.
When our entire culture understands as common sense that addiction is an individual neurological disorder that requires immediate medical attention then a person like Phillip Seymour Hoffman has a chance to understand that he has “one of those brains” that will shut down his frontal lobes and take away his ability to exercise good judgement and control of his behaviors. And until he knows this fact about his brain in same the way that he knows a bone sticking out of his leg means he needs to go to the ER, then him and those like him will not be able to ask for help.
And a guy like Phillip Seymour Hoffman isn’t going to know these things until we all know them. And that time is NOW.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman died from having a combination of sensitivities in his neural wiring that caused his brain to override his better judgement, take away his free will and caused him to take the actions that ultimately killed him. It appears that these sensitivities were unknowingly activated by a prescription of pain killers that were necessary at the time to treat a different medical condition. Because of his previous 23 years of being clean and sober he was presumed safe to take the pain medication. And it looks like what he and maybe even his doctors didn’t know about how his brain worked kept him from staying in treatment long enough to allow his brain to rewire itself around those sensitivities and render him clean and sober again. For this, like all addicts in this situation, he deserves our kindness and compassion.
If this post has helped you to understand addiction please do share it. My passion is to help educate us all so that more people with neurological disorders will get the treatment they need.
Debbie Bayer, MA, MFTI
**A note to my 12-step friends: There are two caveats to the success of 12-step work 1) It works when you work it. and 2) You have to be honest, and some people are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There is no doubt that over the last 70+ years the 12-step community has the highest success rate among alcoholics of any other treatment modality. This community is also incredibly successful in the support of sobriety among drug addicts of all kinds.
The problem lies in the millions of people who cannot meet the two criteria for success in a 12-step program due to other types of brain disorders. Their suffering demands that health professionals continue to seek out effective treatment strategies for them. I am certain that you have compassion for their plight and support these more unfortunate folks in their recovery.
DB
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