"Ready To Die So I Can LIVE". Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 45

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....

*  If we're friends on Facebook, I posted a status update regarding a BIG announcement.  You may have been seeing hints here and there.  I was going to post about it this week but, I'm holding off til next until some things are finalized.  Cool things are in the works but, I want to make it official next week.  Stay tuned!

*  I guest co-hosted a web show this past week!  Yaaay!!  It happened in a matter of two days.  The show is called 'Tailor Made with Brian Rodda'.  It streams LIVE on Youtube daily.  I'll be joining him on Mondays.  How cool!  Click here to watch the video!  It was Brian's first episode and I'm so honored to have been his first guest.  I'm learning a lot right now....by saying YES and getting in there and just doing it.




Now on to the main attraction.....


I'm having death dreams again.

Sounds morbid but, it's not.

Because to die is to live.

Death isn't the end.

It can be the beginning.  It IS the beginning.

My subconscious is communicating to me.

The old me is scared to die.  The old me wants to stay the same.  The old me doesn't want change.

But, change is life.  Movement is life.

Boredom, stagnation is the death of me.

Breaks are good.  Take breaks, get some rest but, when it's time to move....F*CKING MOVE.

There's a lot of moving parts right now.

It causes anxiety in me at times but, it's not stopping me.

I see my fears come up...and it's ok.

Hi fear.  Hi old self.  Thanks for showing up and letting me know that this is important to me.  I'm scared but, I must go.  I can't take you with me.  I'll see you around in another form, in a different lesson.  This lesson, I can let go now.

It makes me cry.  I cry at least once a day these days.  I cry while I'm driving or playing fetch with Bells.  I take deeps breaths and I cry.  Something in me is dying and I'm grieving the loss.

Alex, it's time to move on to the next stage of your life.  This is necessary.  Let that part of you go with Love.  It's all ok.  Grow....GROW.

I'm ALIVE.  I'm living again.  I'm feeling.  I'm thinking.  I'm loving.  I'm hating.  I'm sad.  I'm happy.  I'm angry.  I'm mortified.  I'm making decisions.  I'm taking action.  I'm moving.  I'm changing.

This is the Life of the artist.

This is the Work of the actress.

This is my Path.

Who knows what this death will bring life to?

We shall see.





Have a THRIVING weeks, peeps.


with MAAAD LOVE,

x Alex