Don't ever settle. It is your birthright to have it all.
But, what exactly do you want? Have you really thought about the essence of your desire? I thought what I really wanted was an Oscar and making lots of blockbuster films but, nope. I met with my Life Coach Justina this past week. She asked me how acting made me feel. What's that one pleasure I get out of it. I thought about it and tried feeling it more. I said, 'I feel free'. You know that feeling when you feel carried by something and no matter what you do, it's perfect. You can do anything...you feel in touch with your purpose, you feel like you're giving something, you feel like you're affecting, you feel like you're working with your talent, you feel light, you feel fluid, etc.
She said that's my true goal...that feeling of freedom. Not acting. Acting is just the avenue to get there.
Huh. Will you look at that. Well, duh. I've been making acting the be all, end all. We all get so caught up with a certain picture in our head that we miss the essence, the truth of what we really want. When you attach yourself to ONE 'avenue', you close up to other possible avenues that will lead you to your ultimate goal. And what if that one idea in your head doesn't quite pan out the way you want it to? Oh, what a way to set yourself up for some painful lessons...frustration, anger, resentment, guilt.
I'm not saying give up on acting. Not at all. If that is your avenue, just like it is mine, then you give it your best shot. But, with detachment. Find every possible way to enjoy it and love it while you're on that avenue. But, always remember that your ultimate commitment is to the bigger picture, your true desire.
If attachment is to control, then detachment is to surrender.
Surrender to the bigger plan. That's Oprah's secret. "God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can ever dream for yourself." "How can you use me and how an I live in that dream?" It's been working for her, don't you want to give it a try?
I'm learning and working on letting things go and letting things be. I'm learning to accept what is. I'm learning to surrender to the bigger plan. I'm learning that I can only do my part in any given situation and leaving the rest up to God/Universe. I'm learning that no matter what, I'm guided. I'm learning that by staying in a state of gratitude and in a state of serving, life seems easier.
I have no doubt that I'm on my way to fulfilling my purpose. To be honest with you, I don't know exactly what I'm meant to do and how that will manifest for me in my physical world but, all I know is, I'm definitely on my way. I'm getting to know me better so that I can be the best instrument I can be. I'm going to develop my talent the best way that I can. Then I'm going to use that talent to serve and help others. And then I'm going to be grateful that I am able to do all that.
I'm ok with walking away from acting now. I don't feel bound to it. I want it but, I don't have to have it. If that's what I get to do for the rest of my life, wow. But, if it becomes a territory I needed to explore to lead me to another path, then so be it. I surrender.
How do you feel about it?
Last Week's Goal: Talk to buddy, agent showcase, sketch writing class, start new CD workshop with buddy, and get my reel on some dvds.
Update: DONE!!!! My buddy and I have been on a roll! The agent showcase went great. Three agents were there...Abrams, Don Buchwald, and Across the Board. Sharon Paz, the agent from Abrams said that you also have the power and right to choose the right agent for you. Just because someone will represent you doesn't mean he/she is the right person representing you. Know exactly what you want and don't settle....even if it's Abrams. :) Thought this was great advice. Then the workshop went well too! It was fun doing it together with my buddy. We have two classes left. And the sketch writing workshop was straight up fun. Jesse Gaskell was our teacher. Love her! I wrote a cute lil sketch about my mom. :) And got my reel on dvds!
This week's Goal: I want to get new headshots. Something more specific. Now that I know how specific I want to brand myself. Yay! I have another agent showcase this week! More CD workshop, meet with life coach, and more kundalini!
Have a detached week and may all your wishes come true through the practice of surrendering. :)
with LOVE,
Alex
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