Guest-Star, Here I Come! Week 9. 'Don't Be Afraid To Be Authentic"

Hi World.  Hi Everyone!

I had quite an eventful week.  A chain of miraculous events to be exact.  Check out pics to see what I mean.  

(Wednesday) Steven Pressfield and me.  Uhh...yup.  God/The Universe is truly funny and amazing, yes?  

I'm helping him shoot and edit a small video.  I got to meet my favorite author/writer.  Shiet.  ;)

(Two Sundays ago) Suzanne Whang and me.  Right after her one-woman show, 'Cracked Open'.   Click here for some of her videos.  Met her for the first time.  Holla!!  P.S. BRILLIANT and RAW show.

(Friday) Suzanne and me, after lunch.  Crazy!  We had lunch!  Thank you Bryan.  :)   She was full of great energy and insight.  

P.S.  took this pic in front of the back of her car because her license plate says, 'A yellow girl needs a yellow car.  CRAZIAN (Crazy Asian)'.  Can't you just feel her through the pic?!

(Saturday)  I booked another commercial ya'll!  And when I got there, I found out I had my own room. It had a plushy couch and bathroom...aaaalllll for me.  I used to wonder what it would feel like to have your own room or trailer...I've had both now.  For those of you who are curious, it feels a bit like solitary confinement once the novelty wears off.  But, I'm not complaining!  ;)

It was for PNC Bank.  

What a week right?!  I know...I'm still processing all the miracles in my life and appreciating them wholeheartedly.  And discovering all the ways I can give back.

This is my 9th or 10th commercial in the last year and half.  Wondering how I got the commercial?  Here's my hunch.

Don't Afraid To Be Authentic.

The audition was at the Ocean Park Casting place.  Instead of getting too much in my head, I read my essence statements that I got from my Sam Christensen workshop.  Click here for the post about the Sam Christensen workshop. 

Here's what the breakdown looked like:

Role Name:	Designer
Attire:	Hip Casual
Role Details:	Female, Asian, 27-33 years old.  Interesting looking, but still hip.  She owns her own dress shop, that carries her own label.  It's a trying time, but she's never been happier.

My Marketing/Business Approach

Here's what I wore...because I do believe it was a factor.

They asked for interesting and hip.   

I wore a beige/stone colored turtleneck with one of my chunky necklaces, jeans, and black boots.     Many fellow auditioners wore dresses or skirts with bright colors and lots of accessories...trendy and hip.  I wanted to get more hip but, I stuck to my style.  I figured, 'Hey, I'm already hip, no need to 'look' hip."  It could have been totally wrong but, I'm branding ME so, I'm just gonna keep doing me.  Know what I mean jelly bean?  ;)

And did you know that if what you're wearing is close to the color palette of the brand/logo of the client for your audition, your chances of getting a callback is a little higher?  I read or heard that somewhere so I keep that in mind for commercial auditions.  Their logo colors are pretty muted so I did stay as close to their color schemes. 

Guess what?  I actually wore MY turtleneck for the shoot!   After trying on different outfits at the fitting, the director and clients vetoed them all and wanted to stick with how I looked at the audition.  They decided they liked what I brought in.  Word!

Ok, so 'She's never been happier...she's never been happier'.  Does this mean I have to be smiling and happy looking?  My actions were to design/fix a shirt on a mannequin.  Does this mean I have to be smiling while I'm fixing/designing a shirt on a mannequin?  

I said, 'Eff it.'  I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do no matter how hard I try to control it beforehand.  I know this so, I just stuck to reading my essence statements.  Pretty soon, it was my turn.  I went in and did my thing.  Did I smile, you ask?  Nope.  A natural smile didn't come up so I didn't force it.  I just concentrated on the work (fixing/designing) the shirt on the mannequin.  And the funny thing is...the camerperson or director actually liked my no smile.  He said it was thoughtful and real.  Word?  Word!

I get a callback.  I wore the same thing.  Whenever I get a callback, I wear what I wore to the first audition.  I've heard from casting directors that it's safe...actually, it's probably a good idea to wear the same thing.  

This time, the clients and director were in the room.  I did my thing again.  The director immediately stops me and gives me directions.  Got the notes and I go again.  He stops me again.  I got a bit annoyed...plus, I wasn't in the best of moods that day...I was feeling run down and irritable.  I felt like I wasn't doing perfectly what he was asking of me and I was getting politely frustrated.  And out of my frustration and impatience, the no fuss, no muss New Yorker came out...I just wanted to get it done and get out of there.  I walked out of there a little pissed.  I was sure I blew that one because I thought I revealed too much of myself.  I revealed my frustration and impatience.  According to the breakdown, I have 'never been happier'.  Oh great.  

I'm On Avail.  What?!  Who would have thunk it?  Then I booked it.  Holler.

The shoot went extremely well.  There was another actress in the scene with me.  She was my assistant.  When the camera started rolling, I went into happy designer mode.  Cut.  The director asked for more quicker pacing.  Action.  I did everything a little faster.  Cut.  The director wanted more impatience.  Action.  I did everything a little more impatient.  Cut.  The director wanted me to be more bitchy.  'Bitchy?', I asked.  He said, 'Yes, not really bitchy but, you know.'  I knew exactly what he meant.  They wanted the Alex that was at the callback.  The no fuss, no muss New Yorker.  Chop chop.  So, that's what I gave them.  We were done after a couple takes.  ;)

My Spiritual Approach

As soon as I was put On Avail, I set my intentions.  I told God/The Universe what I would do with the money when I booked the commercial.  I see everything and everyone as energy.  Money is a form of energy.  And energy must always be flowing.  The money isn't meant to stay in my bank account but, I'm meant to use it and give it in ways that are aligned with what I want.  And so I decided how I am going to give the money back to The Universe.  Of course, I'm saving some of it too...I ain't that cray cray.  ;)

What's the moral of this looooooong story?  Kekeke. 

Don't be afraid to be authentic.  

If there's anything I'm learning from branding myself in a conscious way, I'm learning that....

There's no need to look more of anything.  

You are complete as you are.

There's no need to act more of anything.  

You are complete as you are.

Don't be afraid to be yourself and show yourself.  That's our job as actors...to bring to life what's hidden beneath every one of us.  And just loving all of you, accepting all of you is the best way to brand yourself...in my opinion.  

So, hope you have a week full of being YOU.  With all the ups and downs..because that's life and YOU are ALIVE.  :)

with LOVE,

Alex

Guest-Star, Here I Come! Week 8. 'Sam Christensen Workshop'

Cammy Kinney Photography

Hi everyone!  

How the heck was your week?!?!

*  This week's already going by in a blink of an eye.  I have had, have so many amazing things happening...and they're all manifesting so close together that I find myself at times taking them for granted and getting irritated, stressed, overwhelmed...instead of enjoying them.  Crazy, huh?  Humans are funny creatures, or at least I am.  I'm taking deep breaths and saying Thank You's out loud...even when I think I don't mean it.  Something changes in me or around me every time.  Just a matter of a shift in perception.  ;)

*  Thank you for watching my recent VLOGS!  I made a goal to make more videos for the next six months as an experiment and I've been getting wonderful signs from God/The Universe that I'm on the right path.  Especially the Steven Pressfield news!  Click here for the post if you're curious!  And Click here for the video!

And I'm meeting Steven Pressfield this week!  I'm helping him put together a short video!  Ain't that wild?!  

*  I recently went to see an awesome one-woman show, 'Cracked Open' by the very talented Suzanne Whang.  

WOW is all I can say.  The show was powerful, honest, hilarious, heartbreaking, hopeful, and raw.  Suzanne has Stage 4 cancer but that doesn't stop her...in fact, I saw more life, more presence, more guts than many 'healthy' people I know.  Healthy has a whole different meaning to me now.  You don't walk away feeling bad or sad for her...you walk away feeling more courageous...you walk away feeling grateful...you walk away a bit more alive.  

Thank you Suzanne for sharing your beautiful story and I am a little different today because of it.  I'm rooting for you and your show.  From one Korean-American to another.  :)

She doesn't have many shows left here.  She's gonna be traveling!  It really is a MUST-SEE if you can go.  

*  My friend Cammy and I made another video!  Whenever we get together, creativity just spews out of us!  Aaahhhh hahahahaha!

See below for video or Click here!

*  I'm also in this new magazine!  Picture Perfect Magazine!  It launches this week!  Here's a sneak preview.  :)

And here's the Sam Christensen workshop review, as promised!

I don't even know how to start this.  

I LOVED it with all my heart.  And the team of teachers, the Sam Christensen family (Sam, Robyn, Ken)...they are so good at what they do.  They really do GIVE in so many ways...you get the feeling you're somewhere special when you're there.  

Sam is known for helping actors discover their 'brands'.  "How Do You Stand Out?"  As actors, you and I are products.  When we walk into that audition room, you are essentially selling YOU.  When YOU get clear about YOU, they will get YOU.  So, who are YOU?

Here's what makes Sam so unique.  He's another teacher who is technical AND intuitive.  You know how much I love that combo.  He's developed a technique(technical) from his experiences(intuitive)...and he's been doing this for a while now so, you know it works...you just gotta do your work.  

He works all these thorough exercises on you and at the end, there's a compiled list of ESSENCES specifically designed for you.  Your essence is what you take into the room..not a performance or your idea of the performance.  So, he doesn't teach acting, but he definitely fine tunes the character.  You'll be one polished, solid YOU.  

Then he brings Archetypes and Myths into the picture.  This is what fascinated me.  Read up on Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell for better understanding.  According to Sam, incorporating a deeper understanding of human psychology...branding becomes easy and purposeful because we're speaking our Truth.  And when we speak our Truth, we touch hearts.  Where it really matters.  Because as artists, that's what we're here to do.  Then that somehow translates into business after...meaning money will follow.  It feels like learning what your super power is.

So the exercises aren't easy.  Well, they are because they are simple and easy to do...however, it's truthful as hell.  You may not want to hear some things but, you check your Ego at the door and the Pro enters.  And you will easily feel vulnerable because it's so revealing.  This can sound intimidating but, believe me when I say, the SCS family is so amazing at what they do that you feel very safe.  They are professional, organized, patient, compassionate, and dedicated.  They truly set a wonderful tone for the class.  And of course, I can only speak from my experience with my class...every single individual was perfectly there.  I am so grateful to have shared the experience with amazing peeps...and how supportive of one another everyone was.  

In conclusion, keep in mind...you have to be ready for the information.  What Sam teaches is GOLD so be ready for it.  And I don't know how you can get ready for it...all I know is, go to his free workshop and see how you feel.  FEEL this one out.  You'll know.  Because I heard some people say that they didn't know what to do with the information.  I can see that.  Since the information seems more esoteric than technical enough for us to apply to our craft...however, it is.  You don't have to understand how it works into your craft yet...if you don't already.  You don't have to make it work either.  Because there's an awareness and new information that have entered your consciousness...give it time to work its magic but until then, you just gotta do your part.  And that's just doing the follow-up exercises Sam recommends (basically just reading your statements out loud).   It's really that simple.  

So, I'm just doing my part!  And I love myself a little more.  I'm more compassionate with myself a little more.  Thank you SCS!  Me and my career thanks you.  :)

If you want more info on Sam Christensen Studio, Click Here!

Here's the funny VLOG!

Have a great week everyone!

with LOVE,

Alex

Guest-Star, Here I Come! Week 7. 'What a MAGICAL and THRIVING week!'

Cammy Kinney Photography.

Busy days.  I mean, productive days.  ;)

'Nympho or Creative Genius Part II' post will have to be another time.  Sorry!  

This post however is the bomb-diggity.

I'm finishing my Sam Christensen workshop this week.  I will write my review for it next week.  It's soooo good, I love the class.

***  I have MAGICAL news.  

Some of you may have received my newsletter already.  If you'd like to join my email list, I have added a 'Follow By Email' feature to the left.  It's gettin serious up in here now.  ;)

Steven Pressfield, author/writer of my favorite book, The War of Art saw my last vlog (which was inspired by the book), and loved it!!  He asked if he can run it on his site!!!  How crazy is that?!  Can this year get any better?!?!  

My vlog goes live on his website this Wednesday, the 15th!

www.stevenpressfield.com

I decided to make a follow-up video.  Here it is!

It's Pilot Season peeps.  New headshots anyone??  

I got new headshots this past week with Cammy Kinney!  Here are some pics for your perusal.  Also a couple friends got new photos too.  Sharing their pics with you as well.  

Cammy is one of my bestest friends in the whole world.  And she is giving a deal for my blog readers and friends.  Contact her and let her know I sent you.  And you'll get some great pics.  Especially if you need pictures for your website...check her website to see how badass she is.  

www.cammykinneyphotography.com  

Also, if you need retouching...my friend Natalia Fedner is awesome.  She gives you two versions (one for print and one for web).  She's fast and her price is reasonable.  

www.nataliafednerdesign.com

Candace Nicholson

Ashley Bank

Me

Thank you God/Universe for another MAGICAL and THRIVING week!  

Wishing you a MAGICAL and THRIVING week as well!!

with LOVE,

Alex

Guest-Star, Here I Come! Week 6. 'Nympho or Creative Genius? Part I.'

Hello World.  Hello Everybody.

How do you like today's title??  Nympho or Creative Genius.  I love it.  Keep reading.  And keep in mind that my writing is more stream of consciousness.  Especially this post.  I hope it makes sense.  

I got demons coming up and out.  My inner demons are having its moments.  WELCOME.  Even with this post again, struggling.  I'm on a time crunch too and I'm finishing the editing the vlog at the same time.  I feel like I'm half-assing it with this post and vlog but, I have to put it up.  The perfectionist in me doesn't want to publish SHIT right now but, F*ck it.  Our shower isn't working and the plumbers are an hour and half late, there's a crazy lady walking around our neighborhood egging houses and putting gum in locks...EVENTFUL morning!  

RESISTANCE.  Boy, is it some sh*t.  What is RESISTANCE?  

According to the book, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.......

The following is a list, in no particular order, of those activities that most commonly elicit Resistance:

 1)  The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art, however marginal or unconventional.

 2)  The launching of any entrepreneurial venture or enterprise, for profit or otherwise.

 3)  Any diet or health regimen.

 4)  Any program of spiritual advancement.

 5)  Any activity whose aim is tighter abdominals.

 6)  Any course or program designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction.

 7)  Education of every kind.

 8)  Any act of political, moral, or ethical courage, including the decision to change for the better some unworthy pattern of thought or conduct in ourselves.

 9)  The undertaking of any enterprise or endeavor whose aim is to help others.

10)  Any act that entails commitment of the heart.  The decision to get married, to have a child, to weather a rocky patch in a relationship.

11)  The taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity.

In other words, any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity.  Or, expressed another way, any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower.  Any of these will elicit Resistance.

There are many other characteristics of Resistance and Steven Pressfield not only breaks it down...he gives you solutions that make you feel like a badass, who can handle your business,...and then some.  Get the book and read it.  It will seriously do you good.  I can safely say, 'Trust Me" on this one.  :)

Today's VLOG was birthed from just that.  Me and my Resistance battling it out, literally.  This is my loose take on Sh*t _____ Says.  See below for video.

And apparently, my voice classes have been triggers.

First, some logistics about the workshop.  Total of 3 classes, 4 hours each class.  Taking all 3 classes is optional...you can just take one if you like.  $70 per class.  

Oh, and thank you Judith, for turning me on to her.  A gift of a lifetime.  :)

Adele Cabot is one brilliant woman and teacher.  Thank God for her.  I love teachers who are both intuitive and technical.  Again, it's the whole marrying of Magical and Mechanical  And so is Larry Moss.  Adele is so in tune with you...so specific with you.  When she worked with me, I was sold on her forever.  She looked at my body and saw areas where I was holding tension.  She would then gently touch the part and patiently guide you to releasing it.  She's got magic hands and eyes but, because she's got a magic heart.  And all is evident when you work with her.  We need more teachers like her.  I am still amazed by her intuition...she's magical.

You'll be surprised to see how much we tense up to not feel, deal, and heal.  Control.  LET.  IT.  GO.  You can only connect to your voice when you release the control.  And it's pretty powerful stuff when you connect to that part of you.  It makes me emotional whenever this happens.  Your voice is an instrument that's instrumental to you as an artist.  So, doing voice work is extremely important.  I know this now.  

And because of control, do you know that we've been walking around tense for so long that we actually think it's normal?  I KNOW that I hold most of my tensions in my stomach, shoulders, neck, and jaw BUT, I didn't even realize that I also hold it in my butt and down there.  Yes, I know, let me explain.  This is where it gets fascinating. 

All our lives we have been told that when you breathe, you gotta breathe from and to your diaphragm.  Well, here's what Adele taught me, and this CHANGED my life.  Your diaphragm isn't the end point....you gotta go deeper....meaning, you gotta breathe ALL the way down.  Down to your vagina/penis and anus.  

Whaaaaaat?  That's cray cray Alex.  How do you do that?  It's quite easy.  Just imagine taking in a breath and it traveling all the way down there.  

Here's what I discovered about myself through the experience. 

We were doing floor works.  I was on my left side laying down, then my right side...all the while breathing....and everything seemed normal and still tense.  Then the moment came very unexpectedly.  For a second I didn't care about "Am I doing this right?", "Should I keep my eyes closed?", "I wonder how I look?", "I'm hungry."......for a moment, I only heard Adele telling us to take a deeeeeeep breath. I felt my body.  I felt it heavy on the floor.  I just took a deep breath.  I followed my breath.  I followed it from my mouth, to throat, to chest, to diaphragm.  When it got to the diaphragm, I thought, "Holla! This is a good, deep breath." and then it happened.  I let the breath travel down further.  And as soon as it got down there, I locked up.  I consciously felt myself blocking and locking up my vajayjay.  Do you know why?  Because I got aroused.  

Now, that's cray cray!!  I got horny in class and I locked up because something in me thought it was wrong.  Who freaking knew?  Why did I lock up?  Perhaps being Korean-American and growing up in a devout Protestant home?  Or maybe the fact that I had an experience where I got in trouble when I was younger for expressing my sexuality (I'll write about this another time).  But, who cares?  The fact that I learned about it NOW is all that matters.  Because I now have the power to reclaim whatever I gave up.  My mind thought I was a free bird but, my body taught me otherwise.  My body showed me.  And I listened.  Sometimes you just gotta stop trying to figure things out and just put your body into it.  

And from my experience with Kundalini, I put something else together for myself.  The anus and sex organs are your first and second chakras, respectively.  Did you know that your 2nd chakra, your sex organ is also linked to your creativity??  Yes!  Now, it's like alchemy.  It's like transmuting from one form or energy (lower level) into another (higher level).  I see myself as a modern day alchemists.  The arousal is a human want/need...but, this lower level energy can be turned into a creative expression, a higher level energy.  I will also write more about this another time.  

And this is something wonderful to learn about yourself, right?  I should feel amazing now that I discovered this, right?  Well, I've been feeling sh*tty about it.  Not just about this, but it's like a domino effect.  I'm having epiphanies throughout the day and it's frustrating and overwhelming at times.  Because I want to make the transitions as seamless as possible.  I'm experiencing growth pains I guess.  

I told Adele about it before our last class.  I even told her that I honestly didn't even feel like coming to the last class.  Resistance was saying, "Oh golly..you've been working so hard, you deserve a break.  Don't go if you don't feel like it".  Tricky little bugger.  But I went.  I went to finish what I started.  And I'm glad I did.  Because Adele listened to me with so much compassion and she reassured me that when people start doing jaw work, things come up.  Interesting.  This is what I love.  Work like this.  Work that transforms you.  Work that makes you feel uncomfortable but stretches you.  Her compassion for me in that moment put me at ease.  I'm doing the work necessary to become more of who I AM.  To recognize and remember who I AM.

If you'd like to know more about Adele and her classes, here is her website.

www.lavoicejoy.com

I will write more about this again another time.  Part II coming up next week.  While writing all this, it's been quite an eventful morning and I'm feeling rushed.  Breeeeeeeeeeathe.   

I'm taking new headshots today.  I'll post some pics next week.  

And here's the VLOG I made about Resistance!

Have a great week.

with LOVE,

Alex