Click West Photo with John Allen Phillips.
Retouches by Natalia Fedner Design.
Dear Diary,
* New head shots Dear Diary! John took the pics and Natalia retouched them for me. I always have Natalia do my retouches...she's affordable and damn good. For $30 a photo, she gives you two versions...one for print and one for web (thumbnail). The web ones POP a little more. Subtle differences to increase your chances of getting called in. Why not.
So, these are my picks and pics. What do you think?
Here's an example. This one is for print...so, more natural.
This next one is more sharpened and colors POP a bit more.
Some more photos.
Not bad huh?? I like'em...a lot. Can't wait to start using them. Let's get some love from them ok?...Holla.
Thank you Click West Photo and Natalia Fedner Design for your skillzzz. :)
* My social media world is blowin up. ;D I have a Fan Page now. I mean business. Feel free to 'Like'.
Check this out! I got tweeted this and it made my day! Thank you Tania...girlfriend, you rock. Sending you mad love!
THEN, I have two isolated incidences in the last two weeks where I got freaked out. The first one because I found out someone made a 'ghost' profile page on Facebook as me. With my pictures. This person even made status updates pretending to be me. But, no activity since April so I'm not too worried.
The second one because I have Google Alert. Whenever my name is posted on the web, I get an alert email. I clicked on the link...someone made a 'photo gallery' video of me on youtube. Got all my pictures from the web.
I'm doing a special 'Social Media Power Player' program with my creative career coach Dallas Travers and Therese Cator, founder of Theresesquared.com. I was watching a training video and Dallas said you may encounter situations where you feel your comfort boundaries have been crossed. This is inevitable especially if you're putting yourself out there via numerous social media platforms (like me). Start getting used to it NOW. She couldn't have said that at a better moment.
SO, I'm going to be grateful for them. Take them as a compliment instead of getting scared and angry. I don't want to feed energy into what I don't want. My accountability buddy this month and friend, Erika, said it's like someone making one of those 'tribute' videos you see on youtube of celebrities. Hahahaha! Yes, she's right..that's how I'm going to see it. I'm affecting people out there. F*ck yeah. So, thank you to ALL the supporters and believers out there. I'm not freaked out anymore. :D
* I put together a teaser/trailer for the Scriptcast podcast interview I did this past Wednesday. I had so much fun. Watching the video before or after reading the 'main attraction' will help with understanding what I'm talking about. Here it is. I think it's pretty badass. :D
Now on to the main attraction....
I watched something happen to me after the interview. As I was driving home, I was still 'high'. I spoke to my mom and my sister...they were complimenting me and I was complimenting myself so I was still feeling great. Then we hung up.
All of a sudden, I felt like there was an itch I couldn't scratch. I didn't know what to do with myself.
I had such a wonderful time doing the radio show that when it was done...I had all this excess energy that needed to go somewhere. I went shopping. Spent money I really didn't have to spend. I came home and again, didn't know what to do with myself. I started to get depressed. I missed it. That feeling. I was now coming down from it...I was crashing.
Will eating this food or drinking this drink make me feel THAT again? Will watching this movie make me feel THAT again? Will I find something on the web that will make me feel THAT again? Will smoking this make me feel THAT again? I was feeling a void and trying to fill the void.
I watched all this again the next morning. I woke up at 5:30am, meditated, and started on some writing. The day before kept replaying in my head. I just watched. Without any guilt or shame. I saw all the restless behavior arising in me was simply because I was trying to hold on to what felt good to me.
I would have beaten myself up for not using time productively. Any pastime activities I engage in, I feel guilty about it. I ate too much. I watched too much TV. I internet surfed for no reason too much. I smoked too much. Blah blah blah.
Not this time. This time, I understood myself. I just wanted to stay feeling good. I was afraid to lose that feeling. Really, I was seeking balance.
Our natural state is neutral. Not excited, not depressed but, there is a balance. We are always seeking balance for us, within us. And as you know, nature always knows best and will do what she's gotta do to get it. Once I realized that my natural state isn't to actually stay high, I was able to let the experience just run its course. Let the new energy flowing in me to just flow without judgment, without restrictions, without conditions. Just let it travel through my body, my mind, and my heart.
I think the lesson here is to just FEEL the void...and not FILL the void. Just feeling it and understanding where it's coming from. That it's normal. That it's ok. And recognizing that I'm blessed to be pursuing my dream...and this will bring many overflow of energies I may not know how to direct just yet. I'm learning though...I know because I now have awareness around it. I'll probably start with breathing more on days or in moments where my adrenaline takes over...to help my body achieve natural balance as much as I can.
I'm slowly but surely preparing my mind, body, and heart for BIG things to come. I'm getting ready.
Now take a deep conscious breath. Nice.
Keep up the good work. :D
with LOVE,
Alex
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