'Goal Reached! Television, Here I Come!' Guest-Star, Here I Come! Week 44.

Photo by Sallie DeEtte Mackie

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....


*  Sending lots of love to New York and New Jersey.  I'm from Brooklyn and my fam's still all there.  Everyone's ok...just lots of flooding.  Lost a lot of things...but, they're 'things' and they're replaceable.  I'm grateful to be going home for Thanksgiving.  See you soon.



Now on to the main attraction....

If we have connected on Facebook, you may have already seen my exciting post last week.  I will be on a new television show.

F******ck yeah!

You're probably wondering......Huh?  What?  How?  When?

I'll explain (without giving away too much info since I can't disclose much at this time).  Are you ready?!!  And this one's exclusively for my blog readers.  Thank you very much for reading and supporting.  I am so thankful everyday for the love and support.  It's helped me to keep going.  And I will keep going.  :*)

It all happened, it's all happening in an unconventional way....the most magical way.  I was contacted via my Facebook Fan Page (I've been doing 'Social Media Power Player' program with Dallas Travers and Therese Cator) if I would be interested in testing for a new tv show.  The writer/director of the show saw my vlogs (video blogs) on Youtube.  One of the female leads had to drop due to personal reasons and he was in the position to recast.  He wanted to find someone before the studio finds someone.  He auditioned 500-600 actresses, with no luck.

He magically came across my vlogs, and he said, "That's it!"  So, I got to test shoot.  He told me more than once, "Alex, what you do in your vlogs, just bring that in....just be yourself....no acting please."  Let's be honest, whenever someone says, 'just be yourself', it's the death of being yourself.  "Who am I?  What would 'I' like?  Is my voice too deep?  Is my Brooklyn accent a bit too much?  How would 'I' laugh?  Should I get my nails done?  What would 'I' do with my hair?  Straighten?  Put loose waves in it?  Tie it up?  What would 'I' wear?  WHAT THE HELL WOULD 'I' DO???  etc...."

Omg.  I had a mini identity crisis.  I calmed my monkey brain and took in a deep breath and said, "God, thank you.  I surrender to whatever is meant to be.  I am letting go of expectation and outcome."  Then a 'steady ready' came over me.

The test shoot came and went.  He called me the next day to tell me my shots were cut together and I did perfectly however, I may not be right for the part.  Why?  That role is in and out of the show pretty fast.  He loved me so much, he wants me on the show for the long run.  Whaaaaaaat?!!!!!  He's going to figure out another role for me or write me in....either way, he said I have a home on the show.

WOW.  WOW.  OH MY F*CKING WOW.

So, right now, I don't know how that's going to look.  I don't know when they'll bring me on either.  I don't know anything and it's all good.  Well, to be completely honest,  I do have moments of worries here and there, "Oh sh*t, what if he forgets about me?", "Oh sh*t, what if the studio says they don't like me and vetoes my ass?  F*cking politics.", "Oh sh*t, what if, what if, what if?"  You wanna know what lies I was telling myself to self-sabotage this?  "This is happening way too easy for me...this can't be right.  This is too magical....this can't be right.  You didn't work hard enough...this can't be right."  Yeah people.  The Ego is a funny little bugger, ain't it?  Practice what you preach, Alex.  I talk about magic all the time and it happens to me, and I don't believe it.


My lil loving pep talk to myself....

"Alex, you DID work hard.  You deserve all of this and more.  You actively participated in co-creating this with God/Universe.  You made changes in your life to welcome all these magical things in your life.  Some were painful, some were wonderful and you made choices to honor your dream.  Of course this is taking place in your life.  You're a wonder.  You worked on not only 'making things happen' but,  most importantly, you nurtured your relationship with God/Universe and yourself.  You worked on personal development.  You worked on discipline.  You kept promises to yourself.  You kept promises to your dreams.  You put your heart and Soul into everything.  You worked on self-love, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance.  You gave whenever you could.  This is all feeling 'too easy' because you were having fun.  That's really how it works so keep believing and keep having fun.  Doesn't have to be 'no pain no gain' mentality anymore...it can all be effortless and easy.  And you know what??  There's more magic to come in your life.  You will look back when you're 80 years old and say, "Holy God, did ALL that REALLY happen?  F*cking amazing."  I'm so proud of you little girl.  Now, let's keep going....you have much light to shine.  I love you."



How can I worry after that?  I'm only humbled more...and more grateful.  Have I really become this person I have wanted to be?  Yes, I have.  I'm a f*cking Pro.  I'm a f*cking yogi.  :)

The bigger WOW in my life is this......the fact that this doesn't change anything for me.  I'm still writing everyday.  If anything, I'm writing even more.  I come to this coffee shop and meet with my accountability buddy to get my writing done.  I'm not relying on this tv show for my happiness.....I'm relying on me and my work.  This didn't come to me because of my agent or a casting director workshop...it came to me because of my vlogs and the personal work I have been doing/creating.  I just became the point of my attraction and it came to me.  Yup, that's The Law Of Attraction at work.  

That's my formula.  Connect with God.  Connect with yourself.  Act with integrity with everything you say and do.  Give as much as you can.  Make getting happy your focus.  Let go of outcome.  Act on behalf of your dreams, consistently, no matter how big or small you think it is.  Then, watch and allow for the magic to happen.

Starving artist?  Struggling artist?  My ass.  I'm THRIVING b*tches.  :D



P.S.  Does this mean I reached my goal for this year?  Booking a guest-star?  Better!!  Week 44.  Last year, it took me about the same amount of time...41/42 weeks.  Yesss!!!!



Have a MAGICAL week.  Expect it.


with LOVE,

Alex