Some magical news first.
* I just wrapped my 4 day intensive Robert McKee seminar. AND I had dinner with Robert McKee, his wife, Steven Pressfield, and Steven Pressfield's niece! Ain't that the most random and meant-to-be event? Wish I took some pics but, we were so busy talking! :) My review of the workshop will be next week's post. Need some time to digest first.
* I'm almost at 10,000 views ya'll!! Thank you so much! As a thank you, I'm giving away another Steven Pressfield book! It's called Do The Work, another bestseller. It's the sequel to The War Of Art. Do The Work was part of Seth Godin's domino project. I'm telling you.....these books will change your life. And this too is signed by Mr. Pressfield himself. I'll let you know how you can win this life-changing book soon. ;)
FYI, a little disclosure about this post....it's got profanity up the wazoo.
The craziest thing happened to me this past week. A commercial casting director and director threatened to blacklist me. Yup. I didn't even know they still blacklisted. Maybe they did blacklist my ass already, who the hell knows.
What happened.
I got a commercial audition this past week. I went. I got the callback. I saw the shoot dates. 25th and 26th. Schedule conflict. My last day of Robert McKee seminar was the 25th and I didn't want to miss it. I even emailed my agent weeks in advance that I would not be available for 4 days (22nd-25th, Thur-Sun).
Well, hop, skip, jump to the day after the audition. After seeing that it would be a schedule conflict for me, I called my agent to tell her that I didn't want to go to the callback. Just in case I booked it, I didn't want any problems. She advised that she would let them know that I wouldn't be available the 25th and that I go to the callback since there's a chance that if I do book it, I may only have to shoot the 26th. Yeah, she was right. I made my decision to go and hoped for the best.
What do you know. I book it. And instead of shooting just one day, the director loved me so much he wanted me for all 3 spots! The pay, $500/day...and now I was booked for a $1500 job. But, here's the thing...the shoot dates were as follows, 25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th as weather date (rain was in the forecast).
Uh oh. 25th. Problemo. My agent called, texted, and emailed me that I call her right away. I did. The casting director and director were pissed at me. Actually, they were furious with me. They told my agent that this was completely unprofessional of us and they were going to blacklist us. I even had the casting director call me personally and leave me a message. And not a very nice one. She said to me that if I was a professional actress, I would know better to take a job over class. She said I would be making $1500 and I should choose wisely. How does that sound to you guys?
Now I was pissed. I couldn't believe what she was saying to me. Here's what my Ego was saying,
"How dare you f*cking threaten me? I don't give two flying f*cks who you are. $1500?! What the f*ck do you want me to do with that? This 'class' costs me $900. That's what, like really making $600. What the f*ck do you want me to do with $600 that's gonna change my life. Little do you know, this 'class' is a bigger investment, this 'class' is gonna make me millions because I'm gonna write my own sh*t, instead chasing wages and jobs around town. F*ck that sh*t. So I don't need your f*cking $1500, you can take that sh*t and shove it where the Sun don't shine."
Then I realized I was feeling too emotionally attached to all of this. Don't get me wrong, I could absolutely use the $1500 and I would be grateful for it. And why was I getting so angry? My agent and I did everything we were suppose to. We followed all protocols and we didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I understood why the casting director was so mad. She didn't check the note that my agent sent with the callback confirmation. She said say so herself. She didn't check to see that I wouldn't be available on the 25th. She dropped the ball and didn't know how to do damage control. So, she threw a temper tantrum instead, because it was her ass on the line.
One thing I learned in Robert McKee's seminar about characters.....you really get to know the 'character' of your characters by putting them under pressure and seeing what choices they make. I learned about this woman's character.
I told myself, "You know what Alex....just work with people you like. Just work with people you like and let this all go." And I did. I get a call the next day saying that they still wanted me and were willing to work out a new schedule. Crazy, right?! I confirmed with my agent that I was good to go with the new shoot dates. Then I realized an hour later while sitting in my seminar, "Oh sh*t dude...check your calendar." I opened my calendar and saw that I had another schedule conflict with one of the new dates! What the! Oh gosh...NOW what do I do? We won't take a break for another hour! I was itching to run out to call my agent. But, I sat there. As bad as it felt, I sat there to let all the uneasy feelings move through me. I wanted to make peace with it for myself first...I didn't want the quality of my peace to be determined by someone else's decision or words.
Break time. I called my agent. I took a deep breath. I was scared....not because I was afraid of what the casting director and director would say now but, because I didn't want to put my agent through another hellish phone call. I cared about how my agent would feel. I apologized. This was completely my fault...an honest fault, but, mine nonetheless. What can you do at this point? We had to do what we had to do.
So, there's another girl shooting that commercial. You know, it was meant to be her all along. And I was meant to be learning about writing and having dinner with the McKees and Steven Pressfield and his niece. I just had to go through this to learn a thing or two.
And hey, I take it as a compliment that they're so mad at me. They're so mad at me because they couldn't have me. Shiet. That's what I'm talking about. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, I don't feel like I lost out on anything, not for nothing, I see what I'm really worth. Spiritually, I remembered my worth, business wise, I just got more expensive ya'll. ;)
And in case, you're wondering if I could have worked out the 2nd schedule conflict.....yes and no. But, really, no. I booked a feature film with a director whom I respect and admire. Even though it's non-paying, I want to build relationships and work with people I actually like. And at the end of the day, there are casting directors and directors who know I'm as professional as they come. I'm meant to work with them. I'm sticking to what feels right to me....doesn't matter even if you dangled money in my face. I'd just say, 'Get that sh*t out of my face'. I just learned about my character.
Have a great f*cking week peeps. ;)
with LOVE,
Alex
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