'Magical Spaces' Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 38 and 39

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week....

*  I signed up for Lesly Kahn's Clinic.  It's what you take for a month after the Intensive, before moving into her Ongoing.  I learned so much and I want to make sure it becomes second nature for me.  The last scene I did for the Intensive, Lesly said I was 'an epiphany'.  She said she now knew who I was, the actress I was.  And I knew she was telling the truth because I felt free.  I was showing who I was.  It's always a lovely feeling to be seen.

And my classmates.....falling in love with these new peeps in my life.  



Now on to the main attraction....


My accountability buddy this month has been having breakthroughs after breakthroughs.  And they're manifesting into her physical reality.  Literally in a week, her mind, body, and Soul has undergone a 180.

Listening to her stories and epiphanies hit home with me.

She's in her magical space.

I know that magical space.

It's effortless.  It's exciting.  It's peaceful.  It's fun.  It's synchronistic.  It's poetic.  It's surreal.  It's REAL.  The MAGICAL space is REAL.

That's how we're meant to live, you know.  REALLY MAGICALLY.  MAGICALLY REAL.

I'm learning my ways to do that.

I miss that space though.  I'm not in it right now.  Actually I go in and out of it.

I have days where I'm like, "Fuck yeah.  I'm the next Asian sensation".  Then couple hours later, "What if I just slip through the cracks and I never make it?"  Or, "Hey, I kind of like being single right now.  I want to experience what I want to experience when I want to."  Then couple hours later, "Damn, what if this shit backfires on me and I'm 80 years old, looking back and kicking myself for it?"

Still working through my inner conflicts.  One day at a time, Alex.

It was nice to hear her talk about it and enjoy being in it with awe, gratitude, hope, and curiosity.  It rubbed off on me.  It reminded me of that space that I love being in.  I belong in.  Where we all belong in.  It's a great freaking space.

You know that Marianne Williamson quote?  By her being in her magical space, it elevated my mood and inspired me to get back to my magical space.  Another lesson to shine your light whenever you can....because you just may be helping a fellow Soul.

 
So, how do I get back into my magical space?

It's all about energy.  

If you feel blocked somewhere, you probably are.  Figure out where the block is and do something (doesn't matter big or small...just commit to it) about it every day for a month.  You can thank me later.




There's always an exchange of energies that take place.  If you want something new, just make room for it.  Nature can expand a bit but, it abhors a vacuum.  The millisecond a space is created, Nature will fill it.  Make sure it fills it with something you want.

How?

Start preparing for what you want.

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity".   - Seneca, Roman philosopher


You'll see, the more you prepare, the more opportunities will open up.  Or maybe you'll just see more opportunities because you're prepared.  Regardless, just get ready.



Here are a couple of my magical spaces.

My accountability buddy said to go back and watch some of my magical vlogs and/or go back to my magical blog posts.  To remember.  To feel that again.


Do you remember when my vlog was on Steven Pressfield's site for a week?  And he and I became friends.  I'm friends with one of my favorite writers?!  Then he introduced me to Robert McKee and we all had dinner.  Uhhhhh....I had dinner with two world-renown writers??!!  Yes, I did!

Here's the original video.


And here's the follow-up video.



Then, when I fell in 'love at first sight'.  It was the one and only time it has ever happened to me.  I swear, just our eyes met.  I looked away because I felt like I got caught, then looked back to only see his eyes again.  Freaked me out so bad, because now I got caught twice, I ran.  I seriously ran away.  But, he came after me and we connected on a magical and rare level.  It felt so easy and perfect.


Magical things can happen.  Again and again and again.  They're happening all the time.  Anything is possible.  I may have days where I curse it all but, deep down, I believe....I believe in MAGIC.




Wishing you a week in your MAGICAL space-aaaah!


with MAAAD LOVE,

x Alex









 

 

"I'm Just Doing My Best". Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 37

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....


Now on to the main attraction.....


I'm exhausted and frustrated but, having the time of my life with Lesly Kahn's Comedy Intensive.  The frustration lets me know that I'm doing the work.  As a recovering perfectionist, I'm slowly but, surely learning to let things go and say "F*ck It".  Lesly is a big believer in doing the work and then saying "Fuck It"...to perfection...not to the work itself.

I was going to write a long post for this week but, it's difficult for me right now.  My schedule is all over the place and until the intensive is over, I have to be kind to myself and let myself off the hook with some things.

Ah, that feels a little better.

So, my lesson this week is to say, "You're doing the best you can, Alex.  I'm proud of you."

This lesson hit me this morning (Thursday 9/12) while I was cleaning up Bells's poop.  She's been shitting up a storm lately...and throwing up.  And barking like crazy.  I found myself getting angry with her because I'll clean up her poop (on her wee wee pad) and ten minutes later, there's poop again.  And because I'm so exhausted and I'm getting irritable.  Easily.  I'm meditating and breathing whenever I can even if it's for 2 minutes...I f*cking need it.  God, I have so much more compassion and understanding for my mother and mothers.

So, I'm cleaning up her poop for the umpteenth time and she's barking....I thought I was going to flip.  I yelled at her.  I raised my hand at her too.  I was just so angry and felt out of control.  I stopped and looked into her scared eyes and finally let some tears out.  I said, "Bells, I'm sorry I scared you.  Mommy's just very tired and I have a lot of work to do.  Please, I need you to help me out here.  I'm not perfect but, I'm doing my best for you and for me right now."

I swear to God she talks to me.  She said, "Mom, ok.  And understand that I'm doing my best too.  Not perfectly but, I'm doing my best."

I hugged and kissed the shit out of her.  She's my greatest teacher.  I love this little bitch of mine.

So, I took her to the vet today to make sure it's nothing serious.  I went and got some chicken to boil for her.  I'm making her chicken and rice for a few days.  It's the best for dogs with an upset stomach.  She's being so good now.

We just needed to understand each other.

I can't be everyone to everyone.  All I know is I'm doing the best I can.  And I'm ok with that.

And I'm letting out a sigh of relief.  This blog post is done too.  It's been on my mind.  When I commit, I over-commit, sometimes to my detriment.

I feel like this post isn't perfect.  The perfectionist in me is saying I'm half-assing it.  I'm not.  I'm just doing my best.


Aaaaaand breathe.



with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

"Self-Worth? Check." Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 36.

Did you know I'm a total in-the-closet clown?

Photo by Cammy Kinney Photography

Retouches by Natalia Fedner Design

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....

*  A Thank You shout out to Katharine Chin for subscribing!  Thank you lady!!

*  Last week I went to Lesly Kahn's Triage, which is like her orientation.  I got into her master comedy intensive.  I'm starting this week.  It's a total of three classes but, it's mandatory that we get together with our classmates EVERY DAY for three weeks for rehearsals.  It's intense, alright.  I'm excited and nervous.  I'll keep you posted.  Just FYI, Lesly is awesome.  She's definitely my kind of teacher.

*  Have you seen my new Facebook cover photo?  My 'brand' is official.  And thank you to my dear and talented friends for helping me out!  The lipstick 'I' is my friend Loren's brilliant idea.  So me.  :D

Photo by Cammy Kinney Photography
Make-up by Gabriel Perez
Retouches by Natalia Fedner Design
Graphics by Loren Kling

*  Do you know about Bitstrips?  I am obsessed with this app.  You can make your own comics.  Only annoying thing is that you can only do it through Facebook.  But the other cool thing is, if you and your friends are signed up, you can all add each other to comics.  I feel like a kid again!  So cute and so fun!

Here's my first one.  Isn't my avatar awesome?

Caption for this read:  Alex woke up with some gnarly dreams and the meanings became crystal clear.  Alex sees all the patterns now.

Now on to the main attraction.....

"Worthiness, in very simple terms, means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting."

- Esther Hicks

I have two stories for you.


Story 1

"Recession 101:  Self-worth beats net-worth".

I saw this on a billboard just before quitting the last 'day job' I had.  Almost three years ago.

I was working as a server at a hip and cool restaurant in WeHo (West Hollywood).  I lasted three months.  I and my Soul could not take it anymore.

I've always had a job since college.  By choice.  I didn't have to work because I was and am blessed to have parents that can help me financially.  But, working was a way for me to get out of the freaking house and it gave me a sense of independence.  I also learned a lot about work ethic.

Hard work isn't foreign to me.  I was raised by Korean immigrant parents in Brooklyn, you know what I'm sayin?  Did I love every one of my jobs?  Hell no but, some were tolerable.  The last job mentioned above.....intolerable.  It wasn't the people or the place....it was me.  It was time for me to move on.  Just the thought of going into work drained me.  All I could do was cry silently.  I was miserable.  I was angry.  "I didn't f*cking move out here to serve food and alcohol to entitled pieces of sh*ts that don't know how to say Please and Thank You!  How about you go serve your f*king self?"

I had to do something.  But, what?  What I really wanted to do was act and make money that way.  But, how am I going to support myself first?  Daunting.  Debilitating.

True story.

One rainy night (yes, in LA), on my way to the intolerable workplace, I cried and prayed to God.  "God, I really don't want to go to work.  You know I'm not lazy.  I want to work and work hard but, on my terms.  I want to be happy.  I want to do what I came here to do.  Just give me a sign and I'll completely trust and not hesitate.  I'll listen and take action no matter how scary it is.  Just give me a sign please."

Not a minute went by.  I was sitting at a traffic light waiting for my light to turn green.  I looked up and saw a huge billboard that said:

"Recession 101:  Self-worth beats net-worth."

I said, "God, consider it done.  Thank You."

I got to work and put in my two weeks.  I put my last paycheck towards signing up for Chris Game's commercial workshop.  My intention.....book one commercial.

Guess what?

The workshop was for four weeks.  By week two, I got my first commercial callback.  This became my first vlog.  Click Here for video.  Yup, I had short and curly hair then.  I ended up booking that.  This became my second vlog.  Click Here for second video.  And then I booked 8-10 commercials in a year.




Story 2

A friend contacted me recently asking if I'd be willing to help out with a project.  "I'm all ears", I said.  Long story short, he was asking me to do background work.  I felt a knot in my stomach.  I felt torn.  I wanted to help him out but, I also didn't want to do background.

One voice was saying, "What are you crazy?  You're asking ME to do background?  Oh, hell no."

Then another voice was saying, "Alex, who the hell do you think you are?  You're helping a friend out.  And your friend is telling you that he'll try to get you some lines and introduce you to the director and producer.  Get over yourself.  You gotta pay your dues."

I took a day to think it over.  I got back to him and told him no.

Here's why.

I made two promises to myself when I left that intolerable job.

1.  I won't do background work anymore, and
2.  I won't do jobs that don't pay.

Since then, I haven't done background and I have gotten paid for every single job.

I've done A LOT of work for free.  I gave A LOT of my time for free.  For the sake of 'networking', 'working', 'experience', 'paying my dues', 'getting footage', etc.....  We've all been there, yes?  All I know is, resentment lived in me 24/7.

My Soul was telling me to set boundaries for myself.  My Soul, my talent, my genius was telling me "Alex, enough is enough.  You're worth getting lines.  You're worth getting paid."

This was a test to my self-esteem, my self-worth.  For a long time, I only self-submitted for background work.  I truly didn't believe I deserved to have any lines.  I remember the first time I submitted myself for a Supporting role, it scared the crap out of me.

Alex, you have come a long way.

In the end, my friend understood where I was coming from.  Because he's been there too.  I believe he understood because he practices self-love and knows his self-worth.  When you love yourself....you want others to love themselves too and you'll do what you can to help them on their journey as well.  You won't take things personally.  (This is for a whole other blog post).

Break-throughs need to be broken through.  I broke through that.  I created a different level of relationship with my Soul and the Universe.  Agreeing to do background work for no pay was me betraying myself.

I'm not saying I'm a Nazi about it and I automatically shoot things down.  No, because every situation is different.  But, what I am saying is I take care of myself and my Soul.  I think things through thoroughly AND I listen to what my gut is saying.  And when I have my answer, I don't apologize for it.  Because it's coming from my heart.  And it's with integrity.  I'm not afraid of how I or my actions will be interpreted.  Everyone's going to have their own interpretations....so be it.

And remember, there's no "It's the Right thing to do" or "It's the Wrong thing to do".  As long as it comes from your heart.......TRUST IT and GO.

SO,

Can you check off self-worth from your list today?


with MAAAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

'To Little Girls And Daughters Everywhere'. Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 35.

Photo by Cammy Kinney Photography

Retouches by Natalia Fedner Design

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week......

*  Since I'm focusing on comedy, I'm taking Lesly Kahn's Triage this week.  It's like an orientation for a small group where you meet with her and put up a scene so she can determine how she can help.  You get to choose a scene she has pre-approved.  I love my scene.  It's a fun one.  I'm nervous and excited.  Wish me luck!



Now on to the main attraction.....


Here's a new vlog, everyone!  I wrote a post last year called, 'Lovely Lady Lessons From Mommy With Love'.  Here's the video version.  Or Click Here to view it in Youtube.





Have a THRIVING week, peeps!


with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

'When I Want To Throw In The Towel'. Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 34.

Heeeeyyyyyyyy.  

Having fun with Cammy Kinney Photography at LACMA

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....

*  Just FYI, if you have Gmail, make sure to check your 'Social' and 'Promotions' folders in your inbox.  I'm subscribed to some e-newsletters and they've been getting lost.  I changed the settings to receive them in my 'Primary' inbox but, it's been hit or miss.  I almost missed out on something important because I thought I didn't get the email.

*  A project I worked on last year made it into Holly Shorts Film Festival!  Yaaay 'Silicon Assassins - Dead Reckoning'!!  I got to do the red carpet thing.

Now on to the main attraction....




I want to kick it up a notch with my vlogs (video blogs).  I've been creating 'characters', my alter egos.  I put on make-up, do my hair, get into wardrobe, film them, do a rough edit, take it into class to get some feedback.  Gotta can'em.  Gotta start from scratch.  My characters aren't distinct enough.  I have to flush them out more...voice, body language, hair, make-up, clothes, accent, etc.

I've tossed a few now.  It sucks.  It sucks because it feels like I wasted my time.  Plus, now that I don't wear make-up when I don't have to, when I do have to, it's a freaking chore.  I thought I would be uploading and publishing them and being done with them but, they're not ready yet.

I want to throw in the towel.  I want to say, "Screw it.  I tried."

But, I know it's not over.  I'm just giving up.  I'm feeling defeated and making up excuses.

Excuses.  Excuses.

And I know it's going to haunt me if I don't keep going.  I don't have time to be haunted.  I got shit to do.

So, back to the drawing board I go.

But, it's so hard to go back.

I get so freaking bored with my work.  Don't you get bored with your work?  I can start something, not finish it, and move on to something else (I hope my love life doesn't follow this pattern).  When things arise and kinks form in the road, I will lose momentum.  Once I lose momentum, it can easily be the death of a project.

This has happened a lot.  But thank God it did because out of those a lot's, some actually made it out alive.  Like this blog.  If I expected every post to be perfect then I don't think it would have lasted this long.  This is my space to create, destruct, play, bitch, work, learn, meditate, breathe, think, and love, imperfectly.

I always remind myself how Babe Ruth is known for his home-runs but, he's also had some major strike-outs to get those home-runs.  

Some quotes from Babe Ruth that 'hits home' for me.
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from coming up to bat.”

“I said I'm going to hit the next one right over the flagpole. God must have been with me.”

“How to hit home runs: I swing as hard as I can, and I try to swing right through the ball... The harder you grip the bat, the more you can swing it through the ball, and the farther the ball will go. I swing big, with everything I've got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.”

“As soon as I got out there I felt a strange relationship with the pitcher's mound. It was as if I'd been born out there. Pitching just felt like the most natural thing in the world. Striking out batters was easy.”

“I've never heard a crowd boo a homer, but I've heard plenty of boos after a strikeout.”

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”

“It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.”

“Watch my dust.”


I can't give up on my characters.  They've been dying to get out.  Either they get out or they kill me.

I'm not ready to throw in the towel.  I don't know why I keep telling myself I am.  I'm just frustrated.  And scared.

I still care.  It's still important to me.  The day I feel nothing is the day I throw in the towel.  Until then, I'm in it to win it.




I'm gonna go give this dirty towel a wash and use it again.  How about you?



with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex



  





























I want to make more vlogs (video blogs).

I started.  I want to create characters.   There are different personalities in me that are dying to get out.  I started filming 'in character', edited it and took it into class to get some feedback.  My characters still need work.  I need to flush them out so that they're all distinct.  The only thing that sucks is that I'm 86-ing everything I've done so far and starting from scratch.

I want to give up sometimes.  "Eh, I'll get to the characters later.  It's not that urgent."

It's not that urgent but, it's important.

Like I said, they're dying to get out.

They're the death of me.

Why?

Because there are things I want to say and show but, don't have the balls to as Alex.  However, as a character, I absolutely have the permission to go balls out.  And honestly, without their voices, I don't think I can say a lot of things.  It's too scary.  And I can't live in fear or with my mouth shut.

I'm feeling lots of Resistance because I want to kick it up a notch with my vlogs.  Break-throughs need to be broken through, for sure.

Excuses.  Excuses.

This is for me.  Why is it so hard to do something for myself, my career, my dream?

Because it means so much.

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't even want to think about it not working out.  Too scary.

What if it does work out?

How much of my life will change?  What if they're changes I won't like?

Fear, there you are again.

Why can't you just let me enjoy?

I don't believe in being fearless.  I believe in being courageous.  Fear will exist as long as I'm in this physical body.  It's ok.  Move through them as best as you can.

As best as you can.

I am not lazy.  I'm just scared shitless.

I will start again this week.

This is what it means to be a Pro.  Dust yourself off and try again.



Break-throughs need to be broken through.

For realz.

'I Call Bullshit'. Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 33.

This is my 'I Call Bullshit' look.  

Got some new photos with Cammy Kinney Photography.  More pics coming soon.

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week......


*  One of my best friends, Cammy is moving back to Texas this week.  I was ok but, now I'm getting sad.  Sadder than I thought I'd be.  I know her world is changing but, mine is too.  I know she's moving only a couple of states away but, it's not the same.  There's the little Alex in me that's mad and sad that her best friend is leaving.  It's also bringing up slight 'abandonment' issues.  And I heard once, "Love is witnessing Joy".  She's found the man of her dreams and will be starting a life with him.  It makes my heart alive and open seeing and knowing that all those tears and heartbreaks we got each other through were all for something.  Friend, I love you and I'm going to miss you.  And I'm just honored to witness you and your joy.  #BFF


*  I wanted to share with you WiseStamp.  I created my own email signature.  It's way more professional looking than my normal Gmail signature.  Give it a whirl if you'd like!




Now on to the main attraction.......


You know what I'm really good at?  Calling people out on their bullshit.  When necessary.  And with love.

This is the kind of bullshit I'm talking about.


Alex:  So, what do you want?  

Friend:  Oh, you know, I don't have to be famous or rich or anything.  I just want to work and live comfortably.  

Alex:  Oh really?  That's cool.  You know what I want?  I want to win an Oscar.....or two.  Then I also want to have my own production company.  I already picked out a location.  It's on Wilshire and Cochran.  It's this corner building, it's all glass so you can see through from the outside, and it's even got parking in the back.  I see casting going on downstairs, I'll throw a nice couch down there, make it fancy, then there's a loft-like section on the second level, and that's where all the staff works and operates out of.  I'd love to become a spokesperson for a high-end brand...either clothes or jewelry.   I'd love to get on some magazine covers like Vanity Fair, looking all dramatic.  I want to do interviews.  Selectively, but lots of them since I love meeting new people and talking.  I already visualized being interviewed by James Lipton and appearing on The Actor's Studio.  He's almost 90 years old so I hope sooner than later.  Oh, and Oprah.  Can't forget Ms. Winfrey.   Then, 

Friend:  Oh wait.  I want that too.  But, for me I'd do a little less interviews and more magazine covers.  I want to direct my own feature that I'll be the star in as well.  And then get an Oscar for that.  I want to collaborate with the Coen Brothers for a project.  I've had this idea for a while.  It's about.....


Do you get my drift here?

I know that by my being unapologetic when I talk about my dreams, it allows others to talk about theirs.  I'm not afraid to come off crazy.  And if it's crazy, so be it.  It's too much fun.  Especially with friends.  Once my friends get going, they can't stop.  I literally see a difference with their body language, I hear a difference in their voice, I feel a difference energetically from them.  When they were bullshitting themselves and me, their bodies and voices were more closed off and tight.  When they started to talk and dream big, they literally would LIGHT UP.

That's how I know they're telling the Truth.  They light up.

Many of us need permission to be okay with our dreams.

This is why we feel so alone even though we're all in the same boat.  We have dreams, daydreams, fantasies that are dear to us and we can't even say them out loud to our family and friends for fear of coming off delusional and too 'head in the clouds'.  My accountability buddy said he felt like people would think he's psychotic.  I hear ya.

Isn't it wild that we're ashamed of our own dreams?

I grew up hearing, "Who do you think you are?" a lot.  Not because my family wanted to put me down but because they were projecting their fears on to me.  Dreaming big in my family is either becoming a doctor or a lawyer, and getting married to a nice, rich Korean man.  What I'm doing is still very hard for them to wrap their heads around.  There's no certainty, there's no security.  They're trying though....for me.  My family believes in surviving.  I believe in THRIVING.  If you don't dream big for yourself, who will?  If you don't believe in yourself, who will?  You are the start point.  Always.

We all have that voice inside that says, "Who do you think you are to dream so big?"  But, we also have that voice inside that says, "Listen, I know you're scared.  But, what you're doing is the most courageous thing anyone can do for themselves and for the world.  I'm proud of you.  And I'm with you til the end.  So, dream big.  As big as you can.  Do what you came here to do, and do what only you can do.  You deserve it all.  It may not happen all at once but, it's on its way.  It's on its way.  IT'S ON ITS WAY!"

At any given moment, you have the free will to choose which voice to listen to.  At any given moment, you can give yourself permission to do, think, feel, whatever it is you want.


Do you know this quote?  It's a Marianne Williamson quote.  I think it's great for everyone, especially for artists.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"



YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.




Don't be afraid to own and claim your dream.  If you're wishy washy about it, of course The Universe is going to be wishy washy about it.

Take a moment to go to your happy place for a bit.

Go as far as your imagination takes you.  No need to rush.  Take your time.  Think about it.  You just booked something, you just found out you got nominated for an Oscar, you stumble upon the love of your life, etc.  What happened just before?  Who's around you?  Are you alone?  Where are you?  Are you sitting?  Are you standing?  How are you standing?  Do you smell something?  How does the air feel?  How are you feeling?  Do you feel any sensations in your body?  And where?  What are you wearing?  How does the conversation go?


You just did some visualizing.  Wasn't that fun?

Now, if you want to take it a step further in taking action on claiming, you can you tell someone.  Sound scary?  Ha!  Then, you must.  It's not the easiest thing to do but, I'm getting better at tooting my own horn.  Sometimes when it happens, I milk it.  My friends think it's hilarious and cute.  Because I'm just like a little kid having a good time.  Who doesn't love a little kid having a good time?

Maybe we can get together with friends and share our wildest daydreams and fantasies.  Didn't we do that a lot as kids growing up?  We would tell each other what we want to be when we grow up and say what we're going to accomplish, who we're going to marry, where we're going to live, etc....



So, personally, I'm going to call more people out on their bullshit.  And because it's done with love, you won't even know it.  I hope others will do that for me too.  And let's also create some safe spaces for ourselves and for one another to express our Truths.  For real.


Oh yes, and if it feels good to you, feel free to comment below what you want.  Let's get vulnerable and bold.  :)


How can you do that today and this week?



Have a THRIVING week!


with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex

'Girl, Where You At?!' Live Shows, Here I Come! Week 32.

Dear Diary,

Here's my offering to you this week.....


*  In case you're wondering if I heard back from that magical audition....not yet.  Feature films don't move fast like television does.  It can take anywhere from hours to months.  Keep those fingers and toes crossed for me.  God/Universe, I'd like a callback please, thank you.  ;)

*  THRIVING TIP:  After a big audition, KEEP IT MOVING to stay sane.  Figure out what your next move is and do it.  Go on with your life.  Keep creating.  Keep writing.  Keep acting.  Keep collaborating.  Have patience without waiting.

Having said that,

All I'm doing is fantasizing......hard.


Now on to the main attraction.......


Let's do something fun this week.  Let's make a time capsule.

I remember my first one.  I was in elementary school.  It was the beginning of the school year.  I think it was Mr. Farley.  He was such a nerd.  He made this box.  Actually, it could have just been a shoe box.  We each wrote a letter to ourselves, I sealed mine with SWAK (Sealed With A Kiss) and put it into the box.  The box was then going to be locked up in his office until the end of the school year, and will be returned to us.  I thought, "Wow, what a concept."

Since then, I have always kept a diary or a journal.  It's very funny and serendipitous that my blog is called The Diary Of The THRIVING Actress.  I love documenting moments in my life and being able to go back to see how far I've come.  Or sometimes to remember who I am.

I recently went back to my very first blog post.  Are you curious?  Click Here.  Keep in mind that my blog was called The Diary Of The Climbing Actress then.  Since I'm a believer in The Law Of Attraction, I changed the name so that I'm no longer climbing but, THRIVING.

I also went back to my first VLOG (video blog) ever!



So, here's what we're doing.

We're going to write a letter to ourselves.  Write whatever you want.  You can write down goals.  You can go on an angry rant.  Or you can just ask questions like, 'Hi.  How are you?  How's the weather?  How are you feeling today?', etc.  Date it and time it.  Put it in an envelope, seal it, and put it somewhere you can forget about it but, not forget about where you put it....because the whole point of this is to find it later.

We're going to forget about this for 6 months.  When the six months is up, we'll return to our time capsule.  I'm going to set up an alert for it on my phone.  So, it's February 7, 2014.  I will let you know when time's up.  Let's do it together!



Dear February 7, 2014 Alex,

Girl, where you at?  How the heck is life?  

Right now, I'm rushing to get this post out.  I got so hungry I went and got some oatmeal and a caramel latte from McDonald's.  Are you still going to McDonald's?  I just go there because of the Drive Thru.  I'm lazy.  Are you still lazy?  It's ok if you are.  Skin's clearing up.  Face is so clear and so happy these days.  But, I do think it cleared up from not eating.  My appetite's coming back though, I haven't been hungry for a week now.  

I'm going to start editing my comedy reel this week.  I'm also creating and developing two characters, Wacky Jackie and Fancy Nancy.  How's that coming along?  Have you made lots of videos?

This last month was good.  Booked a commercial and went on my first big budget movie audition.  Did you book it???  How was filming???  

I'm so curious where I'll be in six months.  I hope you're doing very well.

I love you very much.  Always.  See you in six months.


with MAAAAAD LOVE,
x August 7, 2013 Alex




That's it.  Short and sweet.

Have a THRIVING week, peeps!


with MAAAAD LOVE,

x Alex